Do you have someone in your life who loves cars? Do they not only drool over cars but also speak for hours about them without ever being asked? Well, the holiday season is your opportunity for revenge. There are plenty of car gifts on the market that are so absolutely ridiculous that you would have to be a horrendously boring car dork to appreciate them.
With that in mind, I have put together a list of some of the most ludicrous items you can buy for that special car-loving someone in your life.
La Martina Maserati sweater ($377)
Our first entry comes to us from Italian carmaker Maserati. It’s a sweater! So right there we are off to a good holiday start. But why does it cost nearly $400? Well, it isn’t made of gold, but it does have a hood and some logos.
One of those logos shows people playing Polo, which is a pretty expensive sport – what with the horses. So that does help explain matters. I suspect that the real reason it costs so much is the Maserati logo. Think about it; when you are wearing this, you are wearing part of Italian motorsport heritage. And face it, if the sweater is anything like the cars, you will look and sound great in it. Let’s just hope you don’t break down as often.
TESLA Lambswool Blanket ($38)
This lovely gray lambs wool blanket is the perfect gift for your environmentalist friend who doesn’t want to raise their carbon footprint by turning up the heat. Because it is from Tesla, we know that the wool came from the most sophisticated, high-tech lambs available. And if you know someone who already has a Tesla, all the better. If their Model S catches fire, they will have something to huddle under while they toast free-range marshmallows over the crackling remains of the battery pack.
The package contains the essentials for any Maserati owner: a CD containing lovely photos and information about the car, parts catalogs for tracking down that obscure component that just broke, and a 1/43 scale model of the Spyder to play with while Giuseppe and Florio are working on your car.
I do see one main problem with this gift. If you do own one of these cars, you might want to save that $500 for hair plugs or a new alternator. Just sayin’.
Ferrari FF iPad Case ($118)
This case is exactly like a Ferrari FF in every way; except for the wheels, motor, seats, and not actually being made by Ferrari … never mind. It’s nothing like an FF. What it lacks in FF-ness, it easily makes up for as being a mighty handsome example of a branded product.
Made of the finest leather and red thread, this case shows off your ability to spend $118 on a protecting a product that costs upwards of $500.
I see this product as perfect for the man who loves showing off logos. But, if that were the case, wouldn’t you rather have a logo that shows off that you have an Apple?
Lamborghini leather bracelet ($154)
Lamborghini has long been famous for making the most ‘look-at-me’ supercars available. After all, who could question your taste and refinement when you are in a lime green V12 convertible? Unfortunately, sooner or later, your Lambo-owning friend is going to have to get out of his Lamborghini. And, at that point, people might mistake him for a mere mortal. Heaven forbid!
That’s where this lovely braided leather bracelet comes in. Not only can you get it in a range of colors to match your car, but also the medallion will let everyone know that you own a Lamborghini – and you are therefore better than them.
While this bracelet might look good adorning the wrist of an actual Lambo owner, it’ll look even better hanging from the rearview mirror of a lowered Honda Civic.
Lamborghini candle ($40)
Do you have a romantic interest in your life? Well, what better way to set the tone in the bedroom than with a bright green candle from Lamborghini? This gift is certain to pay big dividends with your significant other because it lets them know that money and good taste are no objects in your pursuit for passion.
The one problem I can see with this product is that they haven’t offered a scented version. I mean, if candles are romantic, what about the smell of hot brakes and a burning clutch?
Vintage Mercedes Bar Set ($124)
You should never ever drink in your car, unless your car is actually a model designed to hold liquor. In that case, it would be rude not to. This great product is a model of a 1950s Mercedes containing a glass decanter and four shot glasses.
Filed with the booze of your choice, this product is your way to show off to the world that you are classy lady – or gent – who likes to hide alcohol in their office.
But don’t tarry too long over the image of filling up one of this car’s four ‘cylinders’ with amber liquid; it’s on eBay and there is only one of them. If one of our readers doesn’t buy this, I may just have to treat myself.