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Mercedes E-Class protects your family during a Loch Ness monster search

If you’re on the hunt for the Loch Ness monster, Mercedes-Benz has your back. More specifically, the Stuttgart company’s 2017 E-Class sedan and station wagon can protect your sides and your ears, should Nessie decide to charge or if the E-Class Pre-Safe features detect an imminent collision, according to Daimler.

New television commercials that Mercedes will also present on social media channels show a father and son parked by Loch Ness in Scotland, waiting for the fabled monster to appear. While they wait, the boy watches intently from the backseat eating a sandwich while his dad nods off. The scene then switches to a disembodied, echoing voice explaining one of two new Mercedes safety features: Pre-Safe Sound and Pre-Safe Impulse Side.

Related: Broiled or fried? Expert says the Loch Ness monster is nothing more than a Welsh catfish

If the E-Class sensors detect a collision about to occur, Pre-Safe Sound sends a brief interference signal through the car’s sound system. This sound can help protect passenger hearing by “triggering a reflex in the ears, and thus lessen the risk of hearing discomfort or damage.”

The Pre-Safe Impulse Side feature reacts when the E-Class side sensors detect an imminent side collision. Depending on which side of the vehicle is threatened, before a lateral collision occurs the Pre-Safe Impulse Side “the affected passengers [are] moved as far away from the danger zone before the crash” as possible. In other words, the seats push you toward the center of the car.

In both commercials a second voice explains that the car’s “intelligent technology” recognizes danger before it occurs, so nothing happens. The “nothing happens” theme, of course, extends to the Nessie watch.

This isn’t the first time 2017 Mercedes E-Class ads have made the news. An earlier titled “The Future” was withdrawn after consumer groups complained. That ad featured the E-Class Drive-Pilot option and showed ghost-like hands being removed from the steering wheel when Drive-Pilot was activated. The commercial had a small print disclaimer that the car couldn’t drive itself and that drivers should keep their hands on the wheel at all times. After complaints arose that the ad suggested a greater degree of vehicle autonomy than it delivered, the ad was quickly pulled.