That’s right folks – thanks to
the miracles of modern technology, you can now 3D print your very own fetus sculptures, modeled after any precious little unborn monster that’s still nestled inside of its mother’s womb.
A company by the name of 3D Babies (what, was Fetus Fabricators LLC already taken?) apparently thinks there’s a market for these true-to-life dolls created from 3D ultrasound scans. For the reasonable and not-at-all-ridiculous price of $600 dollars, the company will scan mommy’s belly using 4D ultrasound, create a virtual 3D model of the half-baked humanoid gestating inside, and then transform that model it into a life-sized sculpture using a 3D printer – presumably on a BabyMakerBot Replicator Z18. When the creepy, alien-like doll is done, they’ll package it up and ship it to you in a satin-lined wood box that only a sick-minded individual would liken to a coffin.
Don’t want a life-sized model, or would prefer something a little bit more portable? 3D Babies has you covered! In addition to the life-size eight-inch model, you can also get your fetus in half-size (four inches) or miniature (two inches) – perfect for keychains, antenna toppers, Christmas tree ornaments, or even your very own baby-fetus chess set!
But what about all of you non-breeders out there that don’t have a bun in the oven yet? Not to worry! You don’t have to be pregnant to get in on the action! The company has also developed a way to make 3D representations of babies based on 2D photographs, so you can have a model made from other people’s babies as well! The kid doesn’t even have to be yours!
Using this technique, 3D Babies is in the process of amassing a library of celebrity babies that schmucks like you and I can print and place on our mantles. Right now they’ve only got one famous crib midget to choose from, but it’s probably the best baby they could ever offer – none other than baby North West. That’s right people; for the low, low price of just $250 bucks, you can be the proud owner of a 3D-printed representation of the genetically superior offspring of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.
Now that your credit card is out, you can find out more and place your order here.