We see it all the time on reality television and celebrity tabloids: Rich people love dousing money all over their kids to make them stand out from the rest of those, uh, average children. If your baby won’t be caught in public without designer dresses, shoes, and the most expensive toys, why should their morning routines be any less glamorous? Instead of bathing your infant in a basin like everyone else, indulge your child with the BluBleu MagicBath, a luxurious Italian-made jacuzzi designed specifically for children under 12 months old.
The MagicBath is molded to comfortably fit an infant while you draw a bath, and the tub contains an air massage system to help the baby relax as you do your thing. Ten air jets help create thousands of bubbles to get your baby giggling, and the machine features different settings to resemble a spa-like experience. What, at 11 months your baby is already stressing out? Use the chemotherapy setting from the digital display menu to help him or her let loose a little. Look, the pressure of learning to walk and talk is a lot, okay? Have you seen the commercials for Your Baby Can Read? Parents want their babies to start understanding words as early as nine months old. Can’t y’all just give babies a bit of a break, they have their whole lives to comprehend things.
Anyway, whirlpool settings aren’t the only thing MagicBath offers. To help trip your baby out even more, the MagicBath also has six underwater LED lights to heighten the experience so you can bathe your child in their favorite colors, from a sequence of indigo to violet shades of light. Best of all, the MagicBath meets all safety standards. And it should, because for almost $2,200 you better hope this baby jacuzzi won’t end up drowning your child. Nor should the hundreds of rubber duckies in that tub.
Completely unnecessary? Beyond belief. However, a lower end model of this could be nice for parents who want a prettier bath for their child. The MagicBath is set on wheels so it’s portable, and is leveled to come up to the adult’s waist level so they can comfortably give their child a good scrubbing at any part of the house. A detachable hose helps drain the water out after the bath so setting up and cleaning is hassle-free.
Still, introducing the concept of luxury spas to your kid even before they know how to speak could be a terribly bratty experience in the long run. But what do you care, one percenters? It’s not like there’s any way you will wash your baby in a bathroom sink like every other American.