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Social Media Jeans that publicizes your location and mood will probably get you murdered

Replay, we need to have a talk. What’s the deal with these Social Media Jeans you and your house of Italian designers thought was a good idea? Strapped with a bluetooth chip that can sense the wearer’s mood and current location, the super power denim give wearers the ability to “immediately” share their whereabouts and happiness level with their social networks. Basically, it’s a 21st century mood ring, which begs us to wonder: Are Replay clients high school kids from the 90s? And will it make my butt look big?

I’m obligated to give you a little more details about these super weird jeans, so here we go: It comes in black or blue denim, the included bluetooth transmitter inside the jean pocket communicates with the wearer’s smartphone and Replay’s dedicated app so it can publish the wearer’s mood and location with a press of a button. The sensor can recognize up to eight different “happiness levels,” though it is unclear what exactly these moods are (hungry? gassy? constipated?). Oh, and they come in regular-slim or skinny fit for men and skinny or baby boot cut for ladies. 

It’s definitely an interesting take for fashion to begin monetizing on tech and social media, but the integration seems rather unnecessary. We already have Foursquare and Facebook Places to tell our friends where we’re hanging out. Do we need jeans to have a GPS strapped to our hip bone? This feels like something you’d see as part of a CSI plot line where detectives try to figure out the death of some high school kid after he last posted that he was “Anxious” and hanging out by the river from his Replay jeans.

If for a reason unbeknownst to the earth this very random pair of jeans tickles your fancy, Social Media Jeans will be available later this year via Replay and other European retailers, starting at €150 to €199 (approximately $196 to $260). A definitely Christmas must-have for that social media braggart in your life.