Covered by ABC’s Good Morning America on Friday, an Ohio college student named Aubrey Ireland was recently granted a civil stalking order against her parents due to their overprotective behavior that included installing monitoring software on her electronics. According to AZ Central, the monitoring software on her smartphone would provide them with details about incoming and outgoing calls and a keylogger installed on the laptop could potentially keep track of things like instant message chat history, websites visited and login information to social networks like Facebook. In addition, Aubrey allegedly had to connect with her parents over Skype and leave the video stream constantly running to allow them to watch her sleep all night in the bedroom.
While attending the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, Aubrey’s parents would allegedly travel approximately 600 miles from their home in Kansas to visit their daughter unannounced as well as meet with her department head at the school.
After her parents allegedly accused her of promiscuous behavior and drug use, they began talking about having her committed against her will to get treatment for “mental issues” as well as her other behavior.
At this point, the dean’s list student met with school officials and decided to take legal action against her parents. After hearing the arguments on both sides, Ohio Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in Aubrey’s favor and told the parents that they were the problem in the relationship. According to the stipulations within the order, parents David and Julie Ireland must stay a minimum of 500 feet away from Aubrey until September 23, 2013. In addition, the school has hired security guards to help keep Aubrey’s parents away from her musical theater performances. Both parents could face criminal charges if they attempt to violate the protection order.
When asked about the actions of her parents, the 21-year-old stated “They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do, who to hang out with, basically control all of my daily life.” Regarding acquiring the stalking order, she continued “I never wanted this to happen, that’s the last thing I wanted. But I wasn’t in control of my life anymore. I knew they were holding me back emotionally, mentally and professionally. And that it got to the point where that was basically my last option.”
Aubrey claims that her parents have been diagnosed with codependency personality disorder. That’s a condition where a person attempts to live through someone else by attempting to control their actions and protect their well-being. In regards to the relationship between a parent and child, it’s also commonly called helicopter parenting.
However, her parents claim that she lied to the judge about their actions and they are attempting to get a refund from the school for the $66,000 spent on her college education. Aubrey’s parents have stopped paying for her tuition, but Aubrey has obtained a full scholarship from the school to finish out her senior year and complete her college education.
I don’t care what the parents were paying for, they can’t “buy” their daughter’s legal rights with their money. She has the right to privacy.
Now she’s on a scholarship and she’s got time to get her act together for when she graduates in a year. That should be enough time to line up work and/or roomates so she can get out there and make it on her own. Minus the helicopter parents.
WHen the school sides with the student, and not with the people who are writing the checks, that should say something pretty significant. When the school is willing to give said student a year of free education, in lieu of getting money from said parents, that should REALLY tell us that they find the parents’ actions to be way over the top.
Unpopular opinion time! Her parents are clearly batshit, overbearing helicopter parents, but boo-hoo for her getting all but one year of school paid for….which has now conveniently been picked up by the school. Don’t get me wrong, they went way too far and I understand why she felt compelled to get a restraining order after they went to the school’s admin, but her being over 18 doesn’t negate the fact that her parents were paying her way and as far as I am concerned that falls under “If you live under this roof….”.
agreed. Though I think her parents might have a bit of a mental issue as well…
I was married to a man with a mother like that. She would drive hours to our home, we actually moved to get away from her, and she would sit outside, in the back of her pickup, on a reclining lounge chair, in a bikini. I kid you not! She would follow him to work and sit outside his job for hours. She went to the bank where we had our car financed and told them she would pay the note in full if he would just visit her. She went to his job and got him fired, due to her constant harassment. She then found out we went to visit family on Christmas vacation, we came home to find everything gone from our house. We went next door to our landlord’s house and he said she showed him a letter signed by us (forged) stating we wanted her to move us out, due to a family emergency, and he also refunded our partial rent and gave her our security deposit. We called her and learned she had rented us a house 5 minutes from her home, had arranged our furniture, gone through our things, and had the new place all set up for us. She thought she was doing us a favor since we just had a newborn and she thought we needed her help and a nicer place to live. My husband joined the Navy with hopes of being sent overseas, and they sent us from Oklahoma to Rhode Island. She started calling his CO every day complaining he would not contact her. The CO told my husband he had to do it or be put in the brig because they were sick of her calling. She flew to RI out of the blue many times and would follow us wherever we went and take photos. She talked to our neighbors and sent them gifts for them to “keep an eye on him”. We had our phone number changed and unlisted and could not give it to any friends or family members for fear of her getting it, and she then started calling the operator and telling them it was a family emergency and to please have us call her collect. I asked the operator, “Wouldn’t that give her our phone number on her bill?” FUH! Of course the operator said it would. She would mail restricted delivery certified letters, afraid I was keeping the 3-5 letters a day from her son. And there are many, many other crazy things I endured in my 5 year marriage to her son. It did not start until after we were married and he moved out of her house. I finally had to divorce him for my sanity and to protect my daughters. She tried the same thing with my kids, and I was able to get the authorities involved. Needless to say, my daughter are 27 and 29 and want nothing to do with that nutty part of their biological family tree. They are able to go back to court to get restraining orders due to this woman still harassing them! I could go on and on, but there are crazy people out there, and a lot of times, they are crazy enough to fool others into believing they are just loving, caring, parents. BUT, she should not have taken their money!
You and your former husband should have had her committed, you had the evidence!
And even when you live under someone else’s roof, there are boundaries that if crossed are considered too far.
I didn’t see any comment from her in the report indicating she’s upset over the loss of the tuition being paid by her parents; more like relief that she has her life to herself as it should be.
It rather worries me that so many people on here seem to think that it’s perfectly ok to spy on an adult and demand to watch them as they sleep…..
It’s not called spying when the individual knows they are watching you, and if more parents kept a closer watch on their children we might not have a lot of the problems with our children running wild like they do now days. If they are paying for things then you should be willing to put up with the so called spying. When a person invest in a company or product you expect them to keep up with what is going on with the company, so what’s the difference. That is there investment in life.
The problem here Cindy, is that she is NOT A CHILD. She is an adult. The parents need mental help. Don’t they realize that they are PUSHING HER AWAY with this behavior? It is like they have abandonment issues.
You’re a middle aged mother eh?
Shes an adult, her parents were clearly out of line. Honestly the more you force will, you more you force rebellion.
My mom was pretty bad but not as bad as this. Needless to say, as soon as I could I moved to the opposite coast and stayed away from her. My dad predeceased her and she died…..alone.
You have to know when to let kids go and when to pull them back in. Letting children learn for themselves, within reason, is good. You learn more from your failures than your successes. Having faith in the morals you taught them and the way you raised them when they were little goes a long way.
If you let your kids fail when they’re younger and they suffer the natural consequences (ie: getting a zero for not doing homework or getting an attitude on a sports team and getting cut from the team), they WILL learn from it. You don’t want to wait until they’re in high school or college for them to manage themselves.
My oldest will be going off to college in another year and I will NOT be keeping unreasonable tabs on her. She knows our expectations and hers are even higher. It ‘s all up to her.
Did you and I read the same article? This woman did everything her parents asked of her, even allowing them to watch her sleep all night in the bedroom via Skype! She didn’t crack until her parents started accusing her of drug use and promiscuous behavior which in turn led them to discuss the possibility of having their daughter involuntarily committed for “mental issues”.
Granted it’s only a theory, but I think with her graduation only being a year away, the parents realized that they were slowly “losing their baby” and in a desperate attempt to keep their control over a 21 year old grown woman they made her life a living hell.
Furthermore, I could care less who paid for what – NO ONE, not even your parents, have the right to tell you how to live your life.
Sorry, yes she has her college paid for by her parents, but, THEY MONITOR HER COMPUTER KEYSTROKES FROM 600 MILES AWAY. That’s not the same as, under my roof.
A 21 year old is an adult, and due all the rights and protections of an adult under the law. Parents trying this kind of craziness need to remember this. Paying for an education doesn’t mean you get to break the law and act like a psycho.
LOL, Well I am sure she is now off of the parent’s payroll. In fact, it said they were trying to get a refund from UC. It’s an invasion of privacy but if the parents pay then the parents can say.
Cute rhyme, but morally wrong. The girl is an adult and has unalienable legal and constitutional rights. Parents pay for college because we’re responsible parents, not because we are control freaks. The young lady made it to college, she deserves the basic respect of being trusted to live her own life. If her parents, who are clearly disturbed in some way, want a slave they deserve to be disappointed.
No excuse for this kind of parenting.