Covered by ABC’s Good Morning America on Friday, an Ohio college student named Aubrey Ireland was recently granted a civil stalking order against her parents due to their overprotective behavior that included installing monitoring software on her electronics. According to AZ Central, the monitoring software on her smartphone would provide them with details about incoming and outgoing calls and a keylogger installed on the laptop could potentially keep track of things like instant message chat history, websites visited and login information to social networks like Facebook. In addition, Aubrey allegedly had to connect with her parents over Skype and leave the video stream constantly running to allow them to watch her sleep all night in the bedroom.
While attending the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, Aubrey’s parents would allegedly travel approximately 600 miles from their home in Kansas to visit their daughter unannounced as well as meet with her department head at the school.
After her parents allegedly accused her of promiscuous behavior and drug use, they began talking about having her committed against her will to get treatment for “mental issues” as well as her other behavior.
At this point, the dean’s list student met with school officials and decided to take legal action against her parents. After hearing the arguments on both sides, Ohio Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in Aubrey’s favor and told the parents that they were the problem in the relationship. According to the stipulations within the order, parents David and Julie Ireland must stay a minimum of 500 feet away from Aubrey until September 23, 2013. In addition, the school has hired security guards to help keep Aubrey’s parents away from her musical theater performances. Both parents could face criminal charges if they attempt to violate the protection order.
When asked about the actions of her parents, the 21-year-old stated “They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do, who to hang out with, basically control all of my daily life.” Regarding acquiring the stalking order, she continued “I never wanted this to happen, that’s the last thing I wanted. But I wasn’t in control of my life anymore. I knew they were holding me back emotionally, mentally and professionally. And that it got to the point where that was basically my last option.”
Aubrey claims that her parents have been diagnosed with codependency personality disorder. That’s a condition where a person attempts to live through someone else by attempting to control their actions and protect their well-being. In regards to the relationship between a parent and child, it’s also commonly called helicopter parenting.
However, her parents claim that she lied to the judge about their actions and they are attempting to get a refund from the school for the $66,000 spent on her college education. Aubrey’s parents have stopped paying for her tuition, but Aubrey has obtained a full scholarship from the school to finish out her senior year and complete her college education.
I don’t care what the parents were paying for, they can’t “buy” their daughter’s legal rights with their money. She has the right to privacy.
Now she’s on a scholarship and she’s got time to get her act together for when she graduates in a year. That should be enough time to line up work and/or roomates so she can get out there and make it on her own. Minus the helicopter parents.
WHen the school sides with the student, and not with the people who are writing the checks, that should say something pretty significant. When the school is willing to give said student a year of free education, in lieu of getting money from said parents, that should REALLY tell us that they find the parents’ actions to be way over the top.
Unpopular opinion time! Her parents are clearly batshit, overbearing helicopter parents, but boo-hoo for her getting all but one year of school paid for….which has now conveniently been picked up by the school. Don’t get me wrong, they went way too far and I understand why she felt compelled to get a restraining order after they went to the school’s admin, but her being over 18 doesn’t negate the fact that her parents were paying her way and as far as I am concerned that falls under “If you live under this roof….”.
agreed. Though I think her parents might have a bit of a mental issue as well…
I was married to a man with a mother like that. She would drive hours to our home, we actually moved to get away from her, and she would sit outside, in the back of her pickup, on a reclining lounge chair, in a bikini. I kid you not! She would follow him to work and sit outside his job for hours. She went to the bank where we had our car financed and told them she would pay the note in full if he would just visit her. She went to his job and got him fired, due to her constant harassment. She then found out we went to visit family on Christmas vacation, we came home to find everything gone from our house. We went next door to our landlord’s house and he said she showed him a letter signed by us (forged) stating we wanted her to move us out, due to a family emergency, and he also refunded our partial rent and gave her our security deposit. We called her and learned she had rented us a house 5 minutes from her home, had arranged our furniture, gone through our things, and had the new place all set up for us. She thought she was doing us a favor since we just had a newborn and she thought we needed her help and a nicer place to live. My husband joined the Navy with hopes of being sent overseas, and they sent us from Oklahoma to Rhode Island. She started calling his CO every day complaining he would not contact her. The CO told my husband he had to do it or be put in the brig because they were sick of her calling. She flew to RI out of the blue many times and would follow us wherever we went and take photos. She talked to our neighbors and sent them gifts for them to “keep an eye on him”. We had our phone number changed and unlisted and could not give it to any friends or family members for fear of her getting it, and she then started calling the operator and telling them it was a family emergency and to please have us call her collect. I asked the operator, “Wouldn’t that give her our phone number on her bill?” FUH! Of course the operator said it would. She would mail restricted delivery certified letters, afraid I was keeping the 3-5 letters a day from her son. And there are many, many other crazy things I endured in my 5 year marriage to her son. It did not start until after we were married and he moved out of her house. I finally had to divorce him for my sanity and to protect my daughters. She tried the same thing with my kids, and I was able to get the authorities involved. Needless to say, my daughter are 27 and 29 and want nothing to do with that nutty part of their biological family tree. They are able to go back to court to get restraining orders due to this woman still harassing them! I could go on and on, but there are crazy people out there, and a lot of times, they are crazy enough to fool others into believing they are just loving, caring, parents. BUT, she should not have taken their money!
You and your former husband should have had her committed, you had the evidence!
And even when you live under someone else’s roof, there are boundaries that if crossed are considered too far.
I didn’t see any comment from her in the report indicating she’s upset over the loss of the tuition being paid by her parents; more like relief that she has her life to herself as it should be.
It rather worries me that so many people on here seem to think that it’s perfectly ok to spy on an adult and demand to watch them as they sleep…..
It’s not called spying when the individual knows they are watching you, and if more parents kept a closer watch on their children we might not have a lot of the problems with our children running wild like they do now days. If they are paying for things then you should be willing to put up with the so called spying. When a person invest in a company or product you expect them to keep up with what is going on with the company, so what’s the difference. That is there investment in life.
The problem here Cindy, is that she is NOT A CHILD. She is an adult. The parents need mental help. Don’t they realize that they are PUSHING HER AWAY with this behavior? It is like they have abandonment issues.
You’re a middle aged mother eh?
Shes an adult, her parents were clearly out of line. Honestly the more you force will, you more you force rebellion.
My mom was pretty bad but not as bad as this. Needless to say, as soon as I could I moved to the opposite coast and stayed away from her. My dad predeceased her and she died…..alone.
You have to know when to let kids go and when to pull them back in. Letting children learn for themselves, within reason, is good. You learn more from your failures than your successes. Having faith in the morals you taught them and the way you raised them when they were little goes a long way.
If you let your kids fail when they’re younger and they suffer the natural consequences (ie: getting a zero for not doing homework or getting an attitude on a sports team and getting cut from the team), they WILL learn from it. You don’t want to wait until they’re in high school or college for them to manage themselves.
My oldest will be going off to college in another year and I will NOT be keeping unreasonable tabs on her. She knows our expectations and hers are even higher. It ‘s all up to her.
Did you and I read the same article? This woman did everything her parents asked of her, even allowing them to watch her sleep all night in the bedroom via Skype! She didn’t crack until her parents started accusing her of drug use and promiscuous behavior which in turn led them to discuss the possibility of having their daughter involuntarily committed for “mental issues”.
Granted it’s only a theory, but I think with her graduation only being a year away, the parents realized that they were slowly “losing their baby” and in a desperate attempt to keep their control over a 21 year old grown woman they made her life a living hell.
Furthermore, I could care less who paid for what – NO ONE, not even your parents, have the right to tell you how to live your life.
Sorry, yes she has her college paid for by her parents, but, THEY MONITOR HER COMPUTER KEYSTROKES FROM 600 MILES AWAY. That’s not the same as, under my roof.
A 21 year old is an adult, and due all the rights and protections of an adult under the law. Parents trying this kind of craziness need to remember this. Paying for an education doesn’t mean you get to break the law and act like a psycho.
LOL, Well I am sure she is now off of the parent’s payroll. In fact, it said they were trying to get a refund from UC. It’s an invasion of privacy but if the parents pay then the parents can say.
Cute rhyme, but morally wrong. The girl is an adult and has unalienable legal and constitutional rights. Parents pay for college because we’re responsible parents, not because we are control freaks. The young lady made it to college, she deserves the basic respect of being trusted to live her own life. If her parents, who are clearly disturbed in some way, want a slave they deserve to be disappointed.
No excuse for this kind of parenting.
Facts we know.
-Parents paid for her education.
-Parents had particular expectations of her.
-Parents drove 600 miles to check up on her.
-Parents installed stalkerware.
Facts we do not know.
-Were there instances of her getting into serious trouble in H.S.
-Were there instances of her being hospitalized due drinking and drug use in college.
-What is her GPA? (Dean’s List is all nice and dandy but it doesn’t specify her GPA)
-Was this the best school she could get into? (R#139 Nationally).
At the end of the day as Rodney Jones said, if the parents pay for her to attend a university, they are shelling out thousands upon thousands of dollars. This is something that I feel most students neglect to consider while taking a year or two to congratulate themselves on getting through high school by drinking and drugging their proverbial assess off. Set aside the “phase” of “getting over it” as some call it because many never really “get over it” during their time in college.
Now, she’s off the “dole” now and that is nice and dandy, but if you had any doubts about your kids’ activities at a university, you would most likely do the same.
I went to college… I know what goes on there! lol
Dean’s list generally requires a 3.5 or higher, so that does tell us something.
Most parents who pay for college expect little more than that their children do well and study hard; and at most pay them back later.
You don’t think requiring her to leave her webcam on while she sleeps is excessive? Paying for it or not, that’s going too far.
We also don’t know if there was a written contract for paying for college.
We don’t know how the parents treated her at home.
We don’t know if they have a history of abuse.
We don’t know if the parents have a history of mental illness.
We don’t know if maybe that school was the only one her parents would pay for.
We don’t know if there was another reason she chose to go to that school.
I feel sorry for any children you might have, if you condone such unreasonable expectations that border on insanity.
If she didn’t know how to shut-off her own webcam then she still needed her parents to watch over her.
Not only that but I wonder why she couldn’t get her provider to remove those controls from her computer and cell phone..unless THOSE plans were ALSO paid for by her parents.Odd that BOTH parents would be so off the mark…..usually it’s just one.
Not if you’re aware of your child’s personality, and know the grades they are earning. Not all kids drink, party or do drugs, though it is far more prevalent than when I went to college. A Dean’s List is usually indicative of high grades.
It does not make it legally right. She is an adult. Paying for your child’s college tuition is not evidence of a contract between the parent and the child (a legal adult in most cases). It is a gift. That’s the way the courts see it, and that’s the way the IRS sees it. The parents can’t get tuition refunded once the semester is over. They paid it as a gift. This is the common misconception parents have about their children. Paying for the tuition of your child does not in any way give you a legal right over them any more than it would over another adult who is unrelated to you.
They made her sleep with Skype on so they could watch her all night. Boiled bunny, anyone?
I look at this from the context of my own role as a parent – I’ve got a 14 year old boy & a 16 year old boy who is off in college. Not only do I kinda NOT want to know what he’s doing in his own private room, as long as he is safe….!!! but I would like for him to have the security of knowing that he does not have to kind of subconsciosly be paranoid for the rest of his life that someone is watching him. And holding someone’s LIFE hostage in this way? Its disgusting!
Its nearly voyeuristic. And about 9 other things.
And just FYI – I’m single, I’m disabled, I have NO life whatsoever LOL & I would never ever dream of this – what I call “stalker parenting”. Its just mental.
Sounds like me that the parent’s are far too controlling. When kids have reached a certain age say 18, then it’s good for the parents to let their kids make their own decisions about their life. She’s right that they were smothering her and she couldn’t move forward with her life if they’re constantly in her face 24/7.
I find it interesting that all the comments that side with the parents invoke the right of “under my roof,” seemingly neglecting to notice that she was 21 years old and living apart from her parents (they had to travel 600 miles to visit her unannounced). To have such a public split is obviously heartbreaking and it’s obvious that we don’t have all the facts, but the fact that the court-ordered mediators sided with Ms. Ireland, telling her parents that they were the problem, says a lot.
It could have been an Academy Award Winning performance on her part (Think Susan Smith crying on camera) – just sayin…
She’s over 18, she’s an adult with the right to privacy.
It will be outright hilarious when her parents get arrested for violating the order. Helicopter your cellmate mommy.
At least the school gave her a full scholarship to finish her education.
Psycho parents.
It’s an unfortunate turn of events. Unfortunately too many parents believe the myth of “you live under my roof you’ll do as I say” and not enough kids know their rights. There is a certain deference to be paid to parents that pay for college, but no more than the deference paid to the provider of a scholarship.
If I am working and paying to support anyone and they are living under my roof, my rules do apply. Aside from the fact that I am legally responsible for what happens under my roof, it is my right to put those rules in place. Once you are 18, if you do not like my rules, go get your own roof, pay for it, and do as you please.
Even then, there are boundaries beyond which rules would be considered too far. Though certainly more extreme than this article and the stalking…..would you say that to someone who was being abused? Since they’re living under the roof of their parent or significant other…it’s ok for them to be beaten?
Children do have rights, and a 21 year old at college, regardless of who is paying, certainly has rights.
Dumb move on daughters part she didn’t know a good deal when she had it
Hardly a good deal….
Sort of like saying a slave has a good deal…
You know what the worst thing about being a slave is? They make you work all day but they don’t pay you or let you go. That and the hours…
No, the good deal ended at a paid education, her parents had only to expect attendance, good grades and graduation. I know the story is limited, but the woman did seem to be doing her job. I gather she is an only child too.
Fact of the matter is kids nowadays just don’t know we’re respect really is
I highly doubt this is a matter of respect. If anyone was disrespected it was the girl by her parents. Respect is a mutual partnership. If you don’t get respect, do you give it? I highly doubt it. This goes for everyone. If I give my parents respect, I expect them to give me respect back. Then again, I am an adult.
Respect is a two way street. She is an adult, and has a right to privacy, regardless of who was paying for what.
I could understand them requiring that they see her grades or keep her grades above a certain GPA, but spying on her conversations and demanding to watch her sleep on skype? That’s insane and highly disrespectful on the part of the parents.
agreed
Parenting. UR DOIN IT WRONG.
If the parent were paying for everything she had a right. I don’t understand why they just didn’t cut her off. Now she a minor celebrity What a a shame
I don’t understand why she didn’t cut ties with them earlier.
While I have my own personal feelings about technology monitoring and your children (being a father and knowing what’s out there). I think these people did take it a bit too far. Keylogers and datalogging is one thing for kids under 18. But to make unannounced trips, accusing their child of mental illness? Sounds to me like these people are part of that bible thumping belt. Though there was nothing to suggest that other than the fact that they are from Kansas. She’s 21, you have to let her go and do her own thing. Just to be clear. I am not suggesting that key loggers and data logging is acceptable behavior.
Parents set expectations before you commit money, otherwise waiting their senior year is an epic fail.
There is absolutely NO legitimate reason for such insane and absurd actions as put forth by her “parents”. Those are the kind of people who don’t deserve to have kids in the first place.
Well, to be fair, you don’t know if there is a history with this girl or not… If she has a drug/alcohol problem. If she’s been knocked up before. etc. Not justifying, just saying. All the facts are not in.
To be fair, you don’t know if the parents have a history of abuse, mental illness, etc.
This is correct. The girl is making those accusation. So in contrast, I would like to examine the girl. Plus, I know a few actors… they are some of the most insane unbalanced people I know. Yes, I am saying because of a few people I know, all actors are the same.
I hope you’ve got your own hospitalization insurance!! They can cut that off too.
Thankfully many schools have on campus clinics free to students
“codependency personality disorder”…that explains obummer and bloomberg
Well, if the parents are doling out $66,000 for her college aducation, wouldn’t they have some rights to protect that kind of money? YES, they went a little to far, but that is alot of money out of pocket if she was just having fun and not doing her schoolwork! If she had to pay that kind of money from the start out of her pocket, she probably would be more studious and have less fun!
If she were just there having fun, she wouldn’t be on the Dean’s List. Just saying’ . . .
If it was the money that was keeping her parents in control and she didn’t like it, she probably could have ended it awhile ago and told her parents she no longer wanted their money. As she said, they basically thought that since they were paying for her living expenses and tuition that they could tell her what to do. She got tired of it and understandably so, but she should have started by becoming financially independent. If she wants independence then she can’t have dependence on her parents for their money.
This is so sad. I’ve had to put privacy controls on social media sites so “well-meaning” relatives couldn’t repeatedly “check up on” ie: stalk: my daughter, or my family in general. t’s bad enough when you don’t respect your own children’s boundarys but when you repeatedly walk all over others then you have crossed into serious legal issues.
Oh, come on – she was sleeping with every guy on campus. No wonder Mom and Dad made her leave Skype on all night long – so they could make sure she wasn’t picking up a few prostitution bucks on the side – so she could escape their well intentioned guidance. Her not-so-stupid parents either figured out a way to get their daughter a scholarship, with or without her knowledge OR They knew she was destined for greatness and somehow channeled L. Ron Hubbard’s essence into total nirvana evoking thought responses with the pedagogic goal of worldly enlightment and by now we’ve decided it’s clear. The parents are Nuts, capital N.
Oh, come on – she was sleeping with every guy on campus. No wonder Mom and Dad made her leave Skype on all night long – so they could make sure she wasn’t picking up a few prostitution bucks on the side – so she could escape their well intentioned guidance. Her not-so-stupid parents either figured out a way to get their daughter a scholarship, with or without her knowledge OR They knew she was destined for greatness and somehow channeled L. Ron Hubbard’s essence into total nirvana evoking thought responses with the pedagogic goal of worldly enlightment, it’s clear. The parents are Nuts, capital N.
yikes. looks like everyone loses. But why the HECK would the parents want to do that?!?! Thats kinda horrifying. I mean…do they KNOW what sorts of things go on in college? OMG.
I think you did the right thing!!!!!!!
Why not believe the girl was becoming a drug-addicted slut? Have any of you seen what’s going on in these colleges today? I’m no prude, coming of age during the late 1960s sexual revolution and being a complete man-whore, I can speak with authority on the topic of druggie whores. Hate to tell you this Mom, but your little princess is indeed a druggy and wanton slut by my standards, and THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING! The micro-percentage of coeds today who are not that way is so small as to be insignificant. Sending a girl to college today is no different than sending her to Nevada’s Chicken Ranch where she’ll learn every sexual position known to man and she’ll get every sexually transmitted disease imaginable. Her parents cared about her. You idiots don’t.
Why not believe the girl was becoming a drug-addicted slut? Have any of you seen what’s going on in these colleges today? I’m no prude, coming of age during the late 1960s sexual revolution and being a complete manwhore, I can speak with authority on the topic of druggie whores. Hate to tell you this Mom, but your little princess is indeed a druggy and wanton slut by my standards, and THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING! The micro-percentage of coeds today who are not that way is so small as to be insignificant. Sending a girl to college today is no different than sending her to Nevada’s Chicken Ranch where she’ll learn every sexual position known to man and she’ll get every sexually transmitted disease imaginable. Her parents cared about her. You idiots don’t.
Privacy from a parent should be considered a gift, not a right, especially when they gave her life and have paid for her “life” on her smartphone and laptop. Ungrateful! The school should refund her parents and give her a student loan instead. I bet “stalking” wouldn’t seem so bad then. I would let anyone stalk me if I didn’t have to pay my student loans. In addition, you are supposed to honor your parents even if they are crazy.
If this girl wanted to be completely independent of her parents she shouldn’t have been taking their money. Since she is just now coming up with this, she should repay every penny of the money she received while in college. And the college who took it upon themselves to pay for the rest of her education needs to re-imburse the parents every dime they paid. them. Is the college going to pay her health insurance, her cell phone bills for the last 3 years? Spending money while she was in college, car insurance? I doubt it!! If she becomes seriously ill or hurt in an accident is the college going to drop everything to take care of her? NOT!!!
If she wants her independence so badly, she should pay her students back the 66,000, her car, cellphone, clothes they bought, all room and board expenses while at college Wonder how happy she’ll be? If she was being promiscuous and using drugs they did the right thing about confronting her. When college is over how sad for her that she had “parents who were concerned for her well being.” Girl, you don’t know what you’re doing. Family is there for you when nobody else is. And to Donna, think its that easy for a college student to get out of college and get a job? Where will she get the money for all the deposits that come with getting a place to live? She may not have bad credit, but from the sound of things she has no credit!! Good luck college graduate. I’ll bet you’ll regret this oneday.
Darling daughter needs to move out on her own, college or not. Homeowner parents are responsible for what happens in their home. If daughter wants her privacy so badly, then it’s time for her to be out and about.
I thought my ex mom was bad but these parents too the list of crazy
I was married to a man with a mother like that. She would drive hours to our home, we actually moved to get away from her, and she would sit outside, in the back of her pickup, on a reclining lounge chair, in a bikini. I kid you not! She would follow him to work and sit outside his job for hours. She went to the bank where we had our car financed and told them she would pay the note in full if he would just visit her. She went to his job and got him fired, due to her constant harassment. She then found out we went to visit family on Christmas vacation, we came home to find everything gone from our house. We went next door to our landlord’s house and he said she showed him a letter signed by us (forged) stating we wanted her to move us out, due to a family emergency, and he also refunded our partial rent and gave her our security deposit. We called her and learned she had rented us a house 5 minutes from her home, had arranged our furniture, gone through our things, and had the new place all set up for us. She thought she was doing us a favor since we just had a newborn and she thought we needed her help and a nicer place to live. My husband joined the Navy with hopes of being sent overseas, and they sent us from Oklahoma to Rhode Island. She started calling his CO every day complaining he would not contact her. The CO told my husband he had to do it or be put in the brig because they were sick of her calling. She flew to RI out of the blue many times and would follow us wherever we went and take photos. She talked to our neighbors and sent them gifts for them to “keep an eye on him”. We had our phone number changed and unlisted and could not give it to any friends or family members for fear of her getting it, and she then started calling the operator and telling them it was a family emergency and to please have us call her collect. I asked the operator, “Wouldn’t that give her our phone number on her bill?” FUH! Of course the operator said it would. She would mail restricted delivery certified letters, afraid I was keeping the 3-5 letters a day from her son. And there are many, many other crazy things I endured in my 5 year marriage to her son. It did not start until after we were married and he moved out of her house. I finally had to divorce him for my sanity and to protect my daughters. She tried the same thing with my kids, and I was able to get the authorities involved. Needless to say, my daughter are 27 and 29 and want nothing to do with that nutty part of their biological family tree. They are able to go back to court to get restraining orders due to this woman still harassing them! I could go on and on, but there are crazy people out there, and a lot of times, they are crazy enough to fool others into believing they are just loving, caring, parents. BUT, she should not have taken their money!
:)
Extremely outrageous!