Samsung announced on Friday it would be revealing the Galaxy S4 in mid-March in New York, and has now sent the first of several teaser videos live. However, it has shunned the obsession with drafting in a celebrity or two to advertise its next big thing, instead deciding to enlist the services of a child to build the already considerable anticipation surrounding the new phone.

The video shows suited tween Jeremy Maxwell, Samsung’s, “Secret messenger,” pulling up in a Rolls Royce Phantom, ready to attend a meeting where he’ll get a glimpse of the Galaxy S4. After signing some papers, the lid on Samsung’s Unpacked box is slowly lifted, and Jeremy is bathed in a golden light, presumably emanating from the phone. Jeremy’s primary verbal contribution to the proceedings is a piercing shriek of, “Wow, is that it?” when the S4’s box comes in. His driver on the other hand, isn’t one for understatements, likening the Galaxy S4’s contribution to the mobile industry to the advent of color television.

Hyperbole aside, the teaser is a truly bizarre choice for pushing the Galaxy S4, and if you weren’t aware the video was about a smartphone, you’d imagine it was for a new toy or some domestic product such as a fabric softener. The less said about the light coming from the box as the lid is lifted the better – an idea which must have taken, oh, literally moments to conceive. If one digs a little deeper and reads some meaning into the ad, then it looks like Samsung – personified by the adult executive – views its customers as children who’re easily distracted by shiny things in a box. Nice.

It concludes with a look at what’s coming next, as Jeremy gets to take the Galaxy S4’s box home, but is confronted by his next-door neighbor, who is intrigued by the box’s contents. Will she persuade Jeremy to give her a look? Will Jeremy himself resist the temptation to have another peek? Will the dog eat the phone before the big day? Does anybody really care?

Samsung will announce the Galaxy S4 in Times Square on March 14, so sadly, there’s plenty of time for it to release more videos like this one.

Update on 03-11-2013 at 10:00am by Andy: Jeremy’s back, and he’s even more irritating than before. You can view the second part of Samsung’s Galaxy S4 teaser video campaign below, which amazingly has absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever. This time, Jeremy has the Unpacked 2013 box (containing the S4) all to himself (and his dog) at home. He tells us the contents of the box is “irresistible,” “beautiful,” and “unreal,” plus that it’ll be available in his favorite color. Honestly, we never thought we’d miss buzzwords being flashed across the screen accompanied by a generic soundtrack so much. Depressingly, there’s more to come from Jeremy, and we’re beginning to fear he’s going to be at the launch event on March 14 too.

Article originally published 3-4-2013.