Whether we like or not, Michael Bay is going to make another Transformers movie.
His first three flicks based on the metamorphous robot toy line have collectively generated over $2 billion worldwide, and since ludicrously over-the-top explosions don’t come cheap, Bay will continue cranking these things out whenever it feels as if his bank account is in danger of dipping below “crazy-rich” levels.
That’s fine. We’ve come to accept that as part of reality, but what really had us worried was Bay’s comments from February in which he described Transformers 4 as “a whole new re imagining of Transformers.” Coupled with producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura’s statement that the upcoming film would be a reboot of the series, this made us worry frantically as to what would happen with all of those characters we grew to know and love over the course of the first three Transformers movies. There was Shia LaBeouf, and … uh, a really pretty girl … wasn’t John Turturro in there somewhere? Oh! And that robot with the inexplicable genitals! We’re gonna miss that dude.
As it turns out though, Transformers 4 isn’t actually going to reboot the series. Instead, it’s just going to ditch the entire human cast while still retaining whatever sort of impact they may have had on a movie that is, realistically, just an excuse for giant robots to tear each other in half.
“It’s not a reboot, that’s maybe the wrong word,” Bay told the LA Times. “I don’t want to say reboot because then people will think we’re doing a Spider-Man and starting from the beginning. We’re not. We’re taking the story that you’ve seen — the story we’ve told in three movies already — and we’re taking it in a new direction. But we’re leaving those three [previous Transformers films] as the history. It all still counts.”
When asked if dumping the previously overexposed human cast would allow Bay to make Transformers 4 a bit more sci-fi, the director tentatively answered in the affirmative before backpedalling. “I want to go a little off but I don’t want to go too sci-fi. I still want to keep it grounded. That’s what works in these movies, that’s what makes it accessible.”
Right. Good point Mr. Bay. Your movies about giant robots battling over the fate of the universe and occasionally sporting inexplicable human testicles are accessible to the average person because they are so grounded. Look at that image above: Does that not scream “grounded?”
Then again, Bay does go on to say that he’s been directed to create this film with a budget $30 million lighter than the one he was given on Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, so maybe this is the film where Bay finally examines the deep emotional lives of his CGI robotic stars. Without that $30 million to fund insanely-huge pyrotechnics and vaguely racist comedy bits, perhaps Transformers 4 will be the On Golden Pond of giant robots punching each other to death. Fingers crossed that Bay can find a cast capable of bringing his dramatic dreams to life.
I like the first three movies they were good old escapism. I don’t go to this kind of movie for it’s impact on life I have enough crappy impact on my own. I liked the robots but loved the humans and the comic edge. I am so very not excited with the way the 4th move seems to be shaping up. Mr. Bay be careful that maybe a shark you are about to jump. My momma always said if it ain’t broke…..
A reboot would still be overwhelmingly better. I’m sure that all the new fans the previous three movies have created wouldn’t have noticed, but they really did trash the entire existing Transformers universe by making these films. Not a single character looked, sounded, acted, or in any way resembled their predecessors–except perhaps for Prime, whose colour scheme, general design, and of course his voice, were all done well. Even that all-important human star, the one who is supposed to give the audience someone to connect with, was given an entirely different name. It may not seem important to most new fans, but imagine how pissed off Star Wars fans would be if they remade those movies and had the main antagonist renamed to ‘Darth Stephen’. It makes no sense, and neither did renaming Spike Witwicky.
Anyway, I could write a brand new screenplay to reboot the recent mess that would be profoundly better to existing Transformers fans and new fans alike. I could do it using every single character from the original series (human and bot) and I could write a thrilling, jaw-dropping story, and I could do it in my sleep. In fact, I was half-joking about that with a friend recently and I think I’ll actually do it. If someone could point me in the direction of a major motion picture studio that would be willing to buy it from me (*and* guarantee that all persons involved in said production are actual Transformers fans who won’t destroy the thing) that would be great. Personally, I like the idea of Universal jumping on board and allowing me to funkify their logo into something a little more Cybertronian.
Michael Bay makes good explosions. He makes fun action movies. I’ll give him that. But he doesn’t know how to make a Transformers movie, and nobody who wasn’t playing with them as a kid in the 80s truly can. I wish someone who actually cared about the Transformers had been responsible for making these movies in the first place. Transformers 4, as it currently stands, isn’t on my must-see radar. I couldn’t care less about it.
Gimme a call, Universal. You won’t be sorry.