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WTF, Internet?: Thanks for another terrible ‘hot women in tech’ list we did not ask for

stop it complexThe Web is an endless treasure trove of wonders. There’s so much good in here, and I could write endless love letters to the Internet and much of what’s inside it.

But then … well, then there’s this. Thanks, Complex, for spewing forth yet another “hottest women in tech” article. Really giving the world what it wants – nay, needs!

This particular hotgirlzwholuvthenetzomgz post should make me, and you, and anyone with two eyes, an Internet connection, and a heart want to shove pencils through their ears to end it all. But first, let me address the entire genre of listing pretty ladies whose interests lie anywhere from extremely to slightly outside the heteronormative scope.

These. Are. Trash. I’m sorry for doing the obvious here, but reason number one:

It should no longer be shocking that a person with ovaries and a nice-looking face also happens to be a developer, or an engineer, or a Web publisher, or a blogger, or the CEO of a tech company. Every time you point out that a pretty girl is doing something you didn’t think a pretty girl could do, a kitten dies. I swear to god, you are killing kittens. Think of the fields of dead kittens.

Reason number two: “in tech” is the dumbest qualifier ever. Everything is tech now, and every company a “tech” company. Everything has a Website and a social-media strategy and an app. Babies use iPads. For God’s sake, cats use iPads. It’s not a unique thing anymore to know a decent amount about tech, or have a job that is related to it. And to suggest that Playboy playmate Sara Jean Underwood is “in tech” because she used to host G4, while also putting her alongside Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg … please don’t make me finish this sentence. I can’t. I just won’t. I won’t do it. It wouldn’t surprise me if Complex included this girl in the round up with the following description:

girl and phone

This is some random babe we saw outside the Apple Store. She loves her iPhone and totally knows how to use it! She loves Instagram. Geek goddess, are we right?

So next, let’s get a “hottest cats in tech” piece going. It’s just as relevant. More actually. I nominate this:

This isn’t to say that many of these women don’t have knowledge of the digital and technical worlds above and beyond the general public. It’s just pointing out that the phrase “in tech” is vague and stupid and can devalue the legitimacy of any sort of list. Not that this one had any to begin with.

There are also some reasons why Complex’s list is particularly horrible. Even the guy that wrote it seems to know it’s a misogynistic piece of crap – here’s a nice wrap up of how he accepted the pitch for the $500 … fully knowing it was beneath anyone ever John McAfee him.

$500 well spent, Complex: Each photo is accompanied by approximately 19 to 50 words. Solid reporting.

The silver lining in all of this is that the Internet giveth, and the Internet taketh away: Behold, just a sampling of the virtual ass-kicking Complex is receiving from Twitter (and yes, the two women commenting are included in the list):

everyone hates complex

So are we clear? No more of this. Let’s just say lesson learned, hope Complex backdates the hell out of this article, and hold ourselves to just a slightly higher standard.