To be or not to be? What a good question. I choose to be... To be the best damn man I know how to be. To live a life fulfilling and healthy by no ones standards but mine and Gods. *Sigh* I don't understand why my brain won't stop. Not in a bad torturing myself mentally way, but thoughts; followed by more thoughts and thus leading to, you guessed it, more thoughts. Such as school, I cant wait to start taking classes again, unlike most of you reading this I do enjoy homework and the process from start to finish when working on just about any form of work whether it be homework or a project. Oh by the way I enjoy being a nerd if you thought it a shame I enjoy homework, then to you I say Ha! I find it a shame you don't. Truly what can you hold more close and dearly to yourself than that which is of the most crucial aspects of your survival, your brain! I mean it is inside you and all (insert lol). But yeah, it's going on 4am, I made the horrible mistake of drinking coffee 3 hours ago thus blowing my perfect sleep schedule out of proportion. On a tangent God is cool, trust and believe in Him and in the end things will be good, thats not to say there wont be mishaps and trials along the way, but in the end when life has reached it's last stop I know I will entrust my Creator with everything that I am and find myself entered into a place of continual worship and happiness, no more tears and no more sorrow, sounds nice ehhh? I wish to see you there. But for now I love those of you that are close we are in this one together and until the day comes when we breathe no more we will share tears and pain. Ummmm I reckon I should acknowledge a couple of people who have helped me along the way to become the man I am right now at 4:09am on a Saturday. Stephen Ferguson- Love you, no homo, much love to the family, I would try and write them all down and what they mean to me but I suppose one may be stuck reading this psycho babble for a couple more days so by saying your name it includes the rest =]. Jessica O.- and your mother, are cool, and nice, and hippies thats cool sometimes lol. Tribe of Browers- you too are excellent in my eyes, why on earth did you put up with me? pure lunacy I tell ya, maybe the whole family's gone crazy to accept me lol. Who am I kidding the more I write here the more I just want to put everyones name, so here it goes Stephen Dodero, Kevin Cooper, Mike Ferrell (Sr. & Jr.), Mike Smith (Sr. & Jr.), Ted Smith, Betty Smith, Luke Parodi, Julie Spencer, Grey Stephenson, Ramsey with a weird last name that I'm too impatient to look up, Mary Ferrell, Donna Warner, My loving mother Tina Mendez, my Aunt( Tamara, Carol, Theresa, Laura), Uncle ( Tony, Mike M., Mike L.) Anthony Novach, Anthony White, Maquade Flackus. Ok thats it, truly I could do this forever, I must sleep. Maybe someday I'll revise this while the world sleeps. Good night/morning/afternoon/evening whatever time it may be when you read this. God blessed me with you, I hope you see it that way too =]