You don’t have to be a miser to enjoy a good deal: the best free stuff on the web

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Philosophical arguments aside, whoever uttered the tired cliche “nothing in this life is free” obviously hadn’t spent enough time meticulously combing through the digital junkyard that is the worldwide web. And let’s be honest, there are few things better than freebies. While there are plenty of scams and semantic tomfoolery out there, peppered in amid it all are some pretty legitimate deals.

Take a break from the quid pro quo and enjoy a little something-something for absolutely nothing. No strings attached: zilch, zip, nada. Here’s a list of some of the best free stuff we found on the internet.

Pet food

labrador retriever

Feeding yourself can be expensive enough as it is. Just fill out the form on the site, print the coupon, and redeem it at your local pet store for a complimentary half-pound bag of cat or dog food from Now Fresh or Go!

A library of ebooks

many old books in a book shop or library

Project Gutenberg, Amazon, and Google Play all offer books that have fallen into the public domain over the years. This means you can download classic titles at no cost. Boom.

Autographed celebrity photos

Willem Dafoe

Celebritymerch.com has a motley amalgam of autographed celebrity photographs to choose from. The list of “stars” currently includes Samuel L. Jackson, Vince Vaughn, Hector Elizondo, and Ashton Kutcher, among others. We were a bit skeptical such valuable items could be ours at no cost, so we tested it out and received our very own autographed Willem Da Foe photo in just a few weeks. Are they authentic? There’s no telling. Will all of your house guests be impressed? Probably not. Is it free? Absolutely.

An unspecified t-shirt

tshirts

This may be one of the more strange offers floating around at the moment. The service’s homepage encompasses an odd mixture of dream interpretation, potential dog names, a list of the best American beaches, and magic. They also give away free t-shirts — err, supposedly. The site doesn’t allow you to select a size either, which makes it even more  interesting. It also notes that your t-shirt will arrive with an unspecified “computer software company logo.” Most humans probably wouldn’t wear this shirt outside of the house, but some amorphous, XXL swag is always handy comes laundry day.

A scoop of ice cream

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gtranquillity/123RF

Yes, a single scoop every 365 days sounds a bit lackluster, but it’s free and delicious. Plus, if you sign up for Baskin-Robbins’ Birthday Club, you’ll receive discounts via email year-round. This also includes a voucher for a free scoop of ice cream on your birthday.

Chocolate truffles

Godiva Truffles Thumb

Who doesn’t love chocolate? If you join GODIVA Chocolate Rewards Club, you’ll receive one free piece of chocolate every month through participating GODIVA boutiques. Joining the club also makes you eligible for annual treats on your birthday.

8-Hour Energy Patches

Energy Patch Thumb

While those 5-Hour Energy drinks may do the trick for some, what happens when you’re just too busy to sip from a pesky container? You strap on a patch filled with ingredients designed to infiltrate your epidermal layer, seep into your bloodstream, and overhaul your neural network — that’s what. Don’t worry, the people behind the suspect giveaway have assured us that caffeine anhydrous and the the other ingredients are completely safe.

Ivy League courses

Coursera Thumb

Online education services such as Coursera and AcademicEarth offer an array of useful college courses. We’re not talking training via non-accredited universities, either. The current list of participating schools includes Harvard, MIT, Yale, Stanford, and a host of other top colleges. Many of these courses can even be used as credits toward a degree.

A pair of black socks

10084504 - irish wool chunky knit ribbed winter socks

There are few things as annoying as purchasing socks. For the most part, they remain unseen, tucked in shoes, and hidden beneath trousers. They are easily worn through, lost in the laundry, and often left abandoned at the bottom of the sock drawer without a match. Alas, a site specializing in wholesale retail fabrics is offering a free pair of black socks for individuals who are willing to fill out a simple form.

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