You don’t have to be a miser to enjoy a good deal: the best free stuff on the web

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Philosophical arguments aside, whoever uttered the tired cliche “nothing in this life is free” obviously hadn’t spent enough time meticulously combing through the digital junkyard that is the worldwide web. And let’s be honest, there are few things better than freebies. While there are plenty of scams and semantic tomfoolery out there, peppered in amid it all are some pretty legitimate deals.

Take a break from the quid pro quo and enjoy a little something-something for absolutely nothing. No strings attached: zilch, zip, nada. Here’s a list of some of the best free stuff we found on the internet.

Pet food

labrador retriever

Feeding yourself can be expensive enough as it is. Just fill out the form on the site, print the coupon, and redeem it at your local pet store for a complimentary half-pound bag of cat or dog food from Now Fresh or Go!

A library of ebooks

many old books in a book shop or library

Project Gutenberg, Amazon, and Google Play all offer books that have fallen into the public domain over the years. This means you can download classic titles at no cost. Boom.

Autographed celebrity photos

Willem Dafoe

Celebritymerch.com has a motley amalgam of autographed celebrity photographs to choose from. The list of “stars” currently includes Samuel L. Jackson, Vince Vaughn, Hector Elizondo, and Ashton Kutcher, among others. We were a bit skeptical such valuable items could be ours at no cost, so we tested it out and received our very own autographed Willem Da Foe photo in just a few weeks. Are they authentic? There’s no telling. Will all of your house guests be impressed? Probably not. Is it free? Absolutely.

An unspecified t-shirt

tshirts

This may be one of the more strange offers floating around at the moment. The service’s homepage encompasses an odd mixture of dream interpretation, potential dog names, a list of the best American beaches, and magic. They also give away free t-shirts — err, supposedly. The site doesn’t allow you to select a size either, which makes it even more  interesting. It also notes that your t-shirt will arrive with an unspecified “computer software company logo.” Most humans probably wouldn’t wear this shirt outside of the house, but some amorphous, XXL swag is always handy comes laundry day.

A scoop of ice cream

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Yes, a single scoop every 365 days sounds a bit lackluster, but it’s free and delicious. Plus, if you sign up for Baskin-Robbins’ Birthday Club, you’ll receive discounts via email year-round. This also includes a voucher for a free scoop of ice cream on your birthday.

Chocolate truffles

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Who doesn’t love chocolate? If you join GODIVA Chocolate Rewards Club, you’ll receive one free piece of chocolate every month through participating GODIVA boutiques. Joining the club also makes you eligible for annual treats on your birthday.

8-Hour Energy Patches

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While those 5-Hour Energy drinks may do the trick for some, what happens when you’re just too busy to sip from a pesky container? You strap on a patch filled with ingredients designed to infiltrate your epidermal layer, seep into your bloodstream, and overhaul your neural network — that’s what. Don’t worry, the people behind the suspect giveaway have assured us that caffeine anhydrous and the the other ingredients are completely safe.

Ivy League courses

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Online education services such as Coursera and AcademicEarth offer an array of useful college courses. We’re not talking training via non-accredited universities, either. The current list of participating schools includes Harvard, MIT, Yale, Stanford, and a host of other top colleges. Many of these courses can even be used as credits toward a degree.

A pair of black socks

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There are few things as annoying as purchasing socks. For the most part, they remain unseen, tucked in shoes, and hidden beneath trousers. They are easily worn through, lost in the laundry, and often left abandoned at the bottom of the sock drawer without a match. Alas, a site specializing in wholesale retail fabrics is offering a free pair of black socks for individuals who are willing to fill out a simple form.

Quick-hit language courses

girl studying at computer

It is generally known that the majority of the inhabitants on this planet know more than one language. Simply knowing the numbers, colors, common verbs , and basic conjugations of a second language doesn’t constitute as bilingual… so check yourself. Fortunately, Duolingo makes it easy and convenient to learn another language in your spare time.

Various feminine products

tampons

Disposable, single-use items are a real pain to purchase. Fortunately, Kotex is offering a sample pack of some of its feminine products. One sample pack comes with two Sleek Regular Tampons, two Sleek Super Tampons, and two U by Kotex Barely There Liners.

American-made soap

bar soap

You have to sign up for Uncle Earl’s Soap Blog newsletter, but deleting an email every now and then beats shelling out a few bucks for soap every month. The Uncle Earl website states that the company stands for “old-fashioned values — strength, honesty, frugality, patriotism,” whatever that means. So sit back, relax, sign-up for some obnoxious emails, and get ready for some free red, white, and bubbles.

An ironic bumper sticker

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Ted Cruz may not have clinched the 2016 Republican Presidential Nomination, but that hasn’t stopped the Texas senator from continuing to give away his campaign stickers. Never forget what could have been with one of these sardonic gems.

Hundreds of documentaries

couple enjoying watching a movie at home laughing on the couch

Once your month-long trial of Hulu Plus is over and your withdraws starts to settle in, simply head over to Documentary Heaven. The site has hundreds of captivating documentaries to help pass the time between other, more important tasks you probably should be doing.

A week of Hulu Plus

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You know the drill — sample Hulu for a week, then cancel. Also, if use a prepaid gift card with a low balance when you sign up, you’ll never have to worry about canceling before you’re charged.

A KIND Bar

Kind Bar

The whole point of the promo is to give a Kind Bar to someone being kind. However, you can always sign in with a temporary email address and forward the link to yourself… or a friend.

Temporary email addresses

email send

Most of these giveaways require you to sign up via email for the various promotional offers. And while a few do follow up with a verification email, many do not. Spare yourself the annoying unsubscribing process with a temporary email address. After all, you should have to sacrifice your right to internet freebies.

A digital fireplace

fireplace

Need to set the mood, but still ballin’ on a budget? Look no further than this digital fireplace, the perfect accompaniment to that candlelit dinner for two and your new-fangled Hulu Plus trial.

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