Natt Garun: Outsourcing means more time for lolcats
This is the smartest man in the world. Instead of doing his job (i.e. snoozing and watching for data breaches at Verizon), he pays a cut of his six-figure income to outsource the work to a few randos in China. News surfaced this week that the Los Angeles man delegated the work to his Far East minions while he spent the 9-to-5 grind watching cat videos, surfing Reddit, checking Facebook, and shopping on eBay. Before the scandal, he would repeatedly get great remarks on his annual review. Of course, until he was let go.
Why wasn’t I cool enough to pull this off? To be fair, I guess I can’t afford Amazon Mechanical Turk, nor get away with a robotic writing style, but I do paid to occasionally surf Facebook and play with apps. And the idea that there could be some lady in China pretending to do my job is a little creepy. Still, this takes outsourcing to a whole new, personal level and I can’t fault the guy for an oddly ingenious move.
Caleb Denison: Lunch-sacked by Stephen Colbert: This sandwich goes to 11
Oh man, how I was looking forward to hopping on this Subway sandwich train. I have a notepad filled with all kinds of clever quips. Scamwhich? Had that. Clowning the New York Post? All over it. Five dollar footwronged? Ok, I didn’t think of that one. Touché, Stephen Colbert’s writing staff.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to catch you up: An Australian man was so upset to find that the foot-long Subway sandwich he had just purchased measured only 11 inches, he posted a picture of it on Facebook. Since the posting, the photo went viral, and a storm of controversy has surrounded Subway and its poor sandwich artists. The New York Post even jumped on board, making it the cover story on its January 13 edition. In the story, a pair of journalists show that 4 out of 7 Subway foot-longs measured in at 11.5-inches or less. Oh, the horror.
I was all set to tear the western world a new one when, lo and behold, it had already done it for me – and by one of my favorite satirists, no less. So rather than hypocritically read you the riot act, I give you: Stephen Colbert.
The Colbert Report
As a kid, I must have watched the “Police Academy” movies more times than I can count on my hand, but if you ask me to describe to you my favorite scenes, I’ll just respond with a blank stare. Perhaps it’s my getting old or that the movies just weren’t memorable, but one thing that nobody ever forgets is Sergeant Larvelle “Motor Mouth” Jones and his sound effects.
The man behind the character is actor and comedian Michael Winslow, who calls himself the “Man of 10,000 Sound Effects.” Using purely his voice, Winslow creates uncanny, realistic sounds that truly mimic the real thing. You don’t forget something like that.
Since his “Police Academy” days, Winslow seems to have moved away from the big screen, but you can find videos of him all over the Web, doing the thing he does best. (He’s also released an iPhone game app in which he supplies all the sound effects.) In this appearance on a Norwegian talk show, for example, he performs a rendition of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love,” handling electric guitar, beatboxing, and Robert Plant-esque vocals.
But my favorite video of Winslow to this day is his “History of the Typewriter,” a 21-minute-long film in which he impersonates the typing sounds of various typewriters throughout history, beginning with a Barlock Mod.4 from 1895, to an Olympia Monika Deluxe from 1983. The video pans around Winslow in a studio, showing you how he manipulates his mouth to create the effects. For anyone who grew up writing on typewriters and loves the sounds they make, this is a fun nostalgic treat.
History of the typewriter recited by Michael Winslow from SansGil—Gil Cocker on Vimeo.
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