I’ve never felt less certain in myself than I have in the past few months. Professionally, I have found myself in a dream position, but the way I got here felt more like an accident than something I earned. Personally, I have fallen into a routine so consistent that NPCs have more complex patterns. Having full control over my work should be a blessing, but it has only saddled me with immense doubt over my abilities. Was I ever really talented, or was it just the oversight of others that made my work even passable? It is all textbook imposter syndrome, yet recognizing it doesn’t make it any easier to overcome.
I was late to the party with Hollow Knight, only getting around to it on my PS5 after it had been on PS Plus for who knows how long. I was well aware of its reputation at that point, but was worried that the expectations the internet had set for me would be too high. To some extent, that was true; I deeply enjoyed the experience but don’t hold it up as the pinnacle of game design. As a cozy experience that I chipped away at 45 minutes at a time before bed, it was perfect.
Now that Silksong is here, and I have decided to spare myself the pain of attempting to speedrun this game in order to review it in a timely manner, something strange is happening. The subtle changes from Hollow Knight are helping me work through all that self-doubt in just the first few hours.
Hollow Knight was about the descent; Silksong is about rising
Both Hollow Knight and its sequel are Metroidvanias and stick to that core blueprint. However, the first game had a distinct focus on downward progress. I was constantly going deeper and deeper into Hollownest. It isn’t an explicit theme, but one that I believe all players will feel to one extent or another. The environments get darker, more dilapidated, and tortured the further into the depths you go, feeling all the more oppressive and dangerous.
From the jump, Silksong subverts this theme and clearly projects the theme of ascension. Hornet, without really knowing why at the start, is determined to reach the peak of this new cursed kingdom. That one shift gives the entire game a distinct feel, even if the world is arguably more dangerous than its predecessor. Going down felt like pushing the limits of my comfort — how far was I willing to go? What if I couldn’t make it back? The depth threatened to swallow me.
Always rising feels like I’m moving toward hope. My goal is not the furthest point from where I feel most secure, but one and the same. At least, that’s my impression, having not actually reached the peak yet.
Sometimes digging deeper within myself is the only way through a dark period, but having a light at the end of the tunnel I am fighting for is just the mindset I need right now.
Being a Metroidvania, I’m not always directly going up in Silksong. As expected, there are tons of paths and routes to take, and I never know which one is “correct” until I try it. A lot of the time, I hit some obstacle I can’t overcome or die so far from my last checkpoint that I wonder if it is even worth going down that road again. It’s up to me to make the choice and commit to a path. If I’m wrong or die, I’ll try again.
The only way to lose in Silksong is to give up.
An invisible hand pushing me along is the knowledge that hundreds of thousands of you out there are right there with me. We’re all facing the same challenges in our own way, but in this rare moment of shared experience, I’ve seen an overwhelming amount of encouragement and support across the internet. That will only exist right here, right now, but it is a reminder that I’m never alone in my struggles. There are always others out there working through similar feelings of self-doubt and burnout. We just can’t see each other most of the time.
Silksong was just the right game at the right time, with a once-in-a-generation zeitgeist, to instil a simple mantra in my head: all I need to do today is try and be better than yesterday. Overcoming self-doubt isn’t like flipping a switch, but something I will keep climbing towards.
Hollow Knight: Silksong is available now on PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, Switch, Switch 2, and PC.
If you need a new game to look forward to now that the wait is over, check out our list of all upcoming video games.
