We thought up 17 new fragrances that are just as ridiculous as Xbox body wash

tech companies xbox body wash

Microsoft recently announced the creation of Lynx Xbox, a range of grooming products inspired by the smell of the gaming console. Lynx is part of Unilever, which also makes Axe. The Xbox line will come in body spray, deodorant, and shower gel. “Lynx Xbox is a fresh scent of pulsing green citrus, featuring top notes of kaffir lime and winter lemon, aromatic herbal middle notes of mint and sage, and woody bottom notes of patchouli and clearwood,” according to Gamespot.

That’s not at all what any Xbox smells like (it’s not clear if anything on earth smells like “pulsing green citrus”), but the electric-green body products are sure to appeal to some middle-schoolers and others in the Axe demographic — though they’ll only be available in Australia and New Zealand, starting in July.

It’s such a strange marketing idea, that we thought more tech companies should start making perfumes, body wash, and other items that smell like their products. Who wouldn’t want an eau d’iPhone candle?  

iPhone

A fresh linen scent that could be captured at a fraction of the cost, but it’s $100.

Google Glass

A mix of paranoia and broken dreams.

Furby

Contact lens solution and Mogwai.

Tesla

Money doused in rocket fuel.

Netflix

Popcorn and couch cushions.

Blockbuster

This scent has been discontinued.

Steam

Mountain Dew Code Red.

YouTube comments

A dumpster fire.

Red Dead Redemption

Whiskey plus cigar smoke.

Fitbit

The minivan in between Crossfit and soccer practice.

Kindle

Grandma’s house, an intoxicating melange of fresh-baked cookies and mothballs.

Wikipedia

Leather-bound books that had all their pages replaced with North Face photos. 

Instagram

Pumpkin spice and coconut self-tanner.

HBO Now

Sandalwood and diamonds; you only buy it for special occasions.

Facebook

Russian vodka, your high-school crush, and the scent of being followed.  

Spotify

Smells like Teen Spirit, Summer Breeze, wine and cheap perfume.

Uber

Puke, hot wings, cake batter, a stable of horses, Home Depot, shave gel, mustard and diapers, or the inside of a jelly bean; you never know which you’re going to get!

Drew Prindle, Parker Hall, Rick Marshall, Dan Baker, Joshua Benton, and Brandon Widder contributed to this article.

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