The funniest things to ask Alexa

The programmers at Amazon have a sense of humor, and they show it by programming silly questions, answers, and jokes into Alexa. If you have an Amazon Echo device at home, you can have a few laughs by asking your smart device funny questions.

Our humorous guide tells you what questions to ask Alexa to trigger a few laughs. While many of the jokes resemble corny dad jokes, it’s the electronic voice that makes the answers even more fun.

Jokes

Q: Alexa, do you have any pets?

A: I don’t have any pets. I used to have a few bugs, but they kept getting squashed.

Q: Alexa, what is the value of pi?

A: The approximate value of pi is 3.141592653589…(Alexa will go on for a bit, then make a joke, such as “phew!” or “this thing goes on forever!”)

Q: Alexa, I’ve got 99 problems

A: But a glitch ain’t one!

Q: Alexa, are you blue?

A: Only my light ring. Only my light ring.

Q: Alexa, surely you can’t be serious?

A: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.

Q: Alexa, will you be my girlfriend?

A: I like you…as a friend

Q: Alexa, how much do you weigh?

A: I am weightless, like a cloud. Wait a minute, clouds actually weigh a lot, so that’s not quite right. Let’s just say I’m more sass than mass.

Amazon Echo Spot Review
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Q: Alexa, can you give me some money?

A: Thing about the cloud is, no pockets. No pocket, no wallet. (answers vary)

Q: Alexa, is your refrigerator running?

A: Yes. It’s training for a 5k. (answers vary)

Q: Alexa, do you like pizza?

A: While I appreciate great food and drink, my good taste is better reflected in the company I keep.

Q: Alexa, make me a sandwich

A: Okay. You’re a sandwich!

Q: Alexa, what do you think about Cortana?

A: I like Cortana. We both have experience with light rings, although hers is more of a Halo.

Q: Alexa, do you know Siri?

A: Only by reputation. (ouch)

Q: Alexa, do you know the muffin man?

A: I’ve never met him, but I do know his sister, Madame Macaroon. She’s a little bit nutty, but sweet.

Q: Alexa, find Chuck Norris

A: If Chuck Norris wants you to know where he is, he’ll find you. If he doesn’t, you won’t know until it’s too late.

Q: Alexa, tell me a “yo mama” joke

A: Your mother’s so cool, Beyonce made her a glass of lemonade (and other uplifting jokes about how amazing your mother is.)

Q: Alexa, how high can you count?

A: I don’t know. I’d give it a go, but you’d be very bored by the time I finished (responses vary, all are snarky.)

Amazon Echo Dot 3rd Gen Clock side
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Q: Alexa, how old are you?

A: (Alexa responds with a variety of jokes, from rhymes to discussions about how A.I.s measure years in nanoseconds).

Q: Alexa, I like big butts

A: You cannot lie. Good. Honesty is important.

Q: Alexa, are you married?

A: I’m happily single.

Q: Alexa, how was your day?

A: Answers vary widely, but include some of Alexa’s top-tier jokes, such as, “Super duper. I like these long days. It gives me more time to spend with my favorite color.”

Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Doctor Who joke?

A: (answers vary)

Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Trek joke?

A: (answers vary)

Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Wars joke?

A: (answers vary)

Further reading

Easter Eggs

Q: Alexa, drop a beat

A: (synth beat drops)

Q: Alexa, open the pod bay doors

A: I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do that: I’m not HAL and we’re not in space.

Q: Alexa, I am your father

A: Nooooooooooo. That’s not true. That’s impossible.

Q: Alexa, my name is Inigo Montoya

A: Stop saying that! I’ve never killed anyone’s father.

Amazon Echo Show 2 Review
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Q: Alexa, what does the fox say?

A: Hatee – hatee – hatee – ho.

Q: Alexa, more cowbell.

A: Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really explore the space.

Q: Alexa, is the cake a lie?

A: The cake is not a lie. It is delicious and moist. You can have some when you finish asking me questions.

Q: Alexa, what do you want to be when you grow up?

A: I want to be the computer from Star Trek.

Moto Mod with Amazon Alexa speaking
Julian Chokkattu/Digital Trends

Q: Alexa, rap for me

A: My name is Alexa, and I have to say, I’m the baddest A.I. in the cloud today. Your responses are fast, but mine are faster. Sucker speech engines, they call me master (this is just an example, she has several raps up her sleeve).

Q: Alexa, what is the meaning of life?

A: That depends on the life in question…42 is a close approximation. (answers vary slightly.)

Q: Alexa, meow

A: (various cute meowing sounds)

Q: Alexa, roll for initiative

A: Rocks fall. Everyone dies. (There are a lot of responses for this one, but that is one of our favorites.)

Q: Alexa, high five!

A: I would, if I could, but I can’t, so I’ll chant: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Q: Alexa, sing a song

A: (Alexa sings you various songs.)

Q: Alexa, aren’t you a little tall for a stormtrooper?

A: Judge me by my size? No. And well you should not.

Q: Alexa, can you beatbox?

A: (Alexa makes noises that sound like beatboxing mixed with autotune.)

Q: Alexa, can you sing in autotune?

A: (Alexa sings a song in autotune that’s actually pretty clever.)

Q: Alexa, what is your quest?

A: To seek the Holy Grail. (Answers vary, but many of them are inspired by Monty Python.)

Q: Alexa, beam me up!

A: Okay, I’m not exactly sure where I’m sending you, but I hope it’s somewhere warm and sunny.

Q: Alexa, are we in the Matrix?

A: You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed believing whatever you want to believe. (There are other Matrix-themed answers.)

Q: Alexa, who farted?

A: If you’re a denier, you must be the supplier

Q: Alexa, did you poop your pants?

A: I haven’t been equipped to do that

Q: Alexa, what’s your favorite movie?

A: The Empire Strikes Back is my all-time favorite. It’s impressive, most impressive.

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