‘I Have Timeline’: A viral video depicting Facebook as a disease

I have Timeline parody video

So it’s clear that Timeline still hasn’t arrived to every Facebook profile like the company said it would a few months ago, and people would like to keep it that way. Until, of course, Timeline unexpectedly comes to you one day and there’s no turning back. In this parody video, a bunch of young ladies sit around confessional style and admit their biggest shames: They have Timeline. But it’s okay because they will learn to cope. Besides, all their friends have it too!

The video depicts Timeline as one of those embarrassing sexually transmitted diseases that you don’t want anyone to know about. In one scene, a girl sits with her boyfriend and claims she has Timeline, but they will do whatever it takes so he doesn’t get it any time soon.

“She doesn’t even link her tweets,” the girl’s boyfriend says in sympathy. Sadly, it really isn’t that simple.

To help cope with Timeline, the boys and girls actually go outside and live a real, social life. They go to bars, practice yoga out on a field, talk to their friends in person. Is this what life was like before Facebook? The video seems to have forgotten essential medical commercial sequences, like walks on the beach, a trip on a boat, or a horse riding session. Empowerment!

Side effects of Timeline are also quite hilarious. These supposed symptoms include “sunburn,” “uncomfortable poking,” “hangover,” “Internet withdrawal,” and of course, “herpes.” As Laughing Squid points out, the parody video is a clear spin on Valtrex, a real commercial for the drug that treats genital herpes. You can be safe and protect yourself from such real disease, but no matter how careful you are, Timeline will get you. Eventually, anyways. Is it really that bad for you guys?

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