Dark becomes Light, and vice versa in Colbert’s ‘definitive’ Star Wars plot theory

Like most of the world, Stephen Colbert is counting the days until Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits screens this December.

Despite the fact that the new host of The Late Show was off the air on break last week — when J.J. Abrams’ latest two and half minute trailer was making media waves — Colbert decided to join in fans’ never-ending plot speculation last night, saying in his old Colbert Report swagger, “just seeing this trailer, I am confident that I have the definitive guess as to the entire plot of the movie.”

What does Colbert think will happen? Well, what he offered wasn’t so much a plot summary as a doctoral thesis in Star Wars philosophy, in which he believes that everything from the original trilogy has been turned on its head in the thirty years since those events took place. Read the full prediction below:

The dark and mysterious First Order has stepped into the power vacuum once held by the Empire. And the newly named Resistance fights in place of the Rebel Alliance, which has begun a tragic shift to the dark side. But John Boyega’s character is in a Stormtrooper, so it follows that now the new New Hope comes from the very enemy we’ve been trained to hate. Remember, the Dark Side was never explicitly tied to the Empire. The Force itself exists outside of mere temporal authority structures. So I predict that dark becomes light, light becomes dark, and the very fabric of the Force is stretched to its limit, as a new generation emerges to tear down the false distinctions of the past and unite all of us.

That’s some heavy stuff coming from a comedian. But then, if there’s anyone who understands the mythological analysis of cult classics, it’s Colbert.

A virtual encyclopedia of Lord of The Rings lore, he famously bested actor James Franco at middle earth trivia twice on his former show, The Colbert Report.

In this case, though, he is predicting with the same information as the rest of us.

“Let me be clear about something,” Colbert said in the beginning of his segment, “J.J. Abrams and I are good friends. But he has told me nothing. Including what JJ stands for, or his phone number.”

Movies & TV

Jason Momoa and Oscar Isaac may join cast of the star-studded Dune reboot

Aquaman and Poe Dameron -- i.e., Jason Momoa and Oscar Isaac -- are two of the latest actors rumored to be joining the star-studded cast of Dune, Denis Villeneuve's epic adaptation of Frank Herbert's best-selling sci-fi novel.
Movies & TV

J.J. Abrams wraps production on Star Wars: Episode IX with a heartfelt message

Star Wars: The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams has wrapped production on Star Wars: Episode IX, which he directed and co-wrote. Here's everything we know about the movie before it premieres in December 2019.
Movies & TV

'Terminator: Dark Fate' is the working title for the new Terminator movie

The most recent Terminator films didn't do so well, but now James Cameron has returned to reinvigorate the franchise. Here's everything we know about the cast, crew, and story of the upcoming Terminator: Dark Fate movie.
Movies & TV

The best new movie trailers: ‘Avengers: Endgame,’ ‘Us,’ and more

Everyone loves a good trailer, but keeping up with what's new isn't easy. That's why we round up the best ones for you. This week, it's trailers for Avengers: Endgame, Us, Pet Sematary, and more upcoming films.
Movies & TV

Did I really watch that? Here's how to delete your Netflix viewing history

Everybody has some skeletons in their streaming closet, but you don't have to live with them if you don't want to. Learning how to delete your Netflix viewing history is easy, and we're here to help.
Movies & TV

From Roma to Isle of Dogs: Here’s where to watch 2019’s Oscar nominees online

The 2019 Oscar field is a strong one, and if you missed some of the films in theaters, you may be in luck: Several of them are available on popular streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, and HBO.
Movies & TV

You should read these epic sci-fi novels before they become blockbuster films

You can get ahead of the next crop of science-fiction movies coming out of Hollywood by picking up the books that inspired them. We compiled a list of books you can add to your reading list now to get a glimpse of the future.
Home Theater

Cutting the cord? Let us help you find the best service for live TV streaming

There's a long list of live TV streaming services available to help you cut the cord and replace your traditional TV subscription. Each is different in important ways, and this guide will help you find the best one for you.
Home Theater

Here's how to turn off subtitles on Netflix, no matter the device

Subtitles are great if you want or need them, but they can be a major headache if you’ve somehow turned them on by accident and can’t figure out how to get rid of them. Don't worry, it's not as complicated as it seems.
Home Theater

Everything to know about Sling TV: Channels, pricing, and more

Sling TV has grown a great deal since its launch. Now there are more channels and more packages to chose from, with prices to match, and more is being added all the time. Everything you need to know is right here.
Movies & TV

Oscar Effects

Every year, five films are nominated for an Academy Award in the “Visual Effects” category. Each of the projects nominated this year offer a unique, inside look at the amazing tricks filmmakers and their talented effects teams use to…
Movies & TV

Eye-popping Alita: Battle Angel delivers a beautifully hollow cyberpunk spectacle

With Alita: Battle Angel, Robert Rodriguez and James Cameron finally deliver a cyberpunk adventure that keeps the action high with groundbreaking visual effects, even when the story falls short.
Home Theater

ATSC 3.0: The next-gen TV update explained

ATSC 3.0 is the next major update to the broadcast standard we use today. Will this be the second coming of free, over-the-air TV? We're here to explain everything about the new standard.
Movies & TV

Ben Affleck explains why he is no longer working on The Batman

Warner Bros. Pictures' The Batman will come out in June 2021, but it needs a new star. Ben Affleck has confirmed he's hanging up the cape and cowl once and for all and explained why on Jimmy Kimmel Live!