If tech goes Hollywood, get ready for even more lame sequels


If you haven’t received a 15 second video selfie from someone yet, I applaud your choice of friends. For the rest of us, the unlucky ones, the news of Instagram’s new video feature came not with a whimper, but a “What the hell is this?” In case you’ve been living under a rock and/or have a life, last week Instagram, based on the growing popularity of Vine, decided the best way outdo the competition was to basically just… do their competition. Meaning they made their own version of Vine. But theirs is 15 seconds long you say? Well, honk my hooter; that changes everything!

As expected, the internets were a buzz with the news, announcing the impending doom of all things Vine. It is a shame, too. Vine was just getting cool. Not only were they getting some talent agency love, but even this guy was using their platform. It’s enough to make you wanna grab a Heineken.

I guess the move makes great business sense, but the cannibalistic nature of the whole thing feels a little dirty, doesn’t it? And a little… well, Hollywood. Not in the typical douchey, look-at-me kind of way, but Hollywood nonetheless. The connection between the Tech and Entertainment industries has always been close, and not just because Hollywood and Silicon Valley are the two most reliable West Coast stops on President Obama’s fundraising trips. Both industries rely on creativity as the lifeblood to commercial success. And it seems, to me at least, that both industries have a tendency to stifle that creativity in much the same way.

There are many ways to do that. Obviously, what Instagram did was mimic the competition. But before we explore to the way Hollywood does that, let’s first take a look at the trailer for White House Down, the movie about a breach in White House security set to wow audiences this weekend!

Aaron Sorkin is branching out from writing about a young tech billionaire and writing about a dead tech billionaire.

Oh, I’m sorry. That was actually the trailer for Olympus Has Fallen, the movie about a breach in White House security that wowed audiences three months ago. This is what happens when you covet the other guy’s idea. This is what happens when you’re lazy. Instagram’s certainly not the only guilty party. Sam Biddle of Valleywag recently highlighted how there are now 50 or more Instagram ripoffs. The lack of imagination isn’t reserved for the big guys. It is systemic. By the way, kind of poetic how there are now two competing Steve Jobs movies in different stages of development, don’t ya think? One of them written by Aaron Sorkin, who’s branching out from writing about a young tech billionaire and writing about a dead tech billionaire.

The other way to go suffocating creativity with a pillow while it’s sleeping is to just buy up your competition. In the same way Facebook bought Instagram, Twitter bought Vine, and Yahoo bought whatever was left … and also Tumblr. What happens then is slowly but surely the big boys now in charge start softening the edges to make it more “well lit” (that’s marketing-speak for “brand safe” and normal person-speak for “G-rated”). That’s why Tumblr users have worked themselves into a lather; they think Yahoo! is going to rearrange the furniture at their favorite online home, and they may be right. I mean, what are we doin’ here? If we can’t find NSFW material on Tumblr, the terrorists win. USA! USA! By the way, is everyone excited to see The Lone Ranger this summer? As a kid, I loved watching reruns of the old television show, but the film doesn’t look anything like it. Also, I heard that Spike Lee’s making a remake of the Korean cult-classic Oldboy. Do you think it will have this scene in it? Probably not.

It seems like the goals for Silicon Valley entrepreneurs have changed; save for maybe Craig Newmark, I can’t think of an independent maverick carrying a torch for kind of ground-shifting ideas and business models that characterized the original dot com boom or Web 2.0. You don’t become the next Apple, Facebook, Google, or Yahoo! by selling the farm to Apple, Facebook, Google, or Yahoo!. And while it’s fair to point out that those firms have frequently succeeded by perfecting existing ideas, I think it’s also fair to say that Puppystream (“Instagram for dog owners”) will not do for image-based social media networks what the iPod did for portable music players.

I can’t begrudge anyone for making a buck, and definitely not gazillions of bucks, and maybe the current business climate in the Valley demands just this sort of limp iterative thinking to succeed financially. But something tells me there won’t be a Tumblr movie a decade from now. Although if there is one, I’m sure Aaron Sorkin will be all over it.

The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not reflect the beliefs of Digital Trends.

Home Theater

I’ve seen the 8K TV future, and you should be excited. Here’s why

Samsung set the tech world on fire when it announced it would sell an 85-inch 8K TV in the U.S. along with several 8K screen sizes in Europe. Debates over the validity and value of such a high resolution have continued since, and we're here…
Movies & TV

The best shows on Netflix, from 'The Haunting of Hill House’ to ‘The Good Place’

Looking for a new show to binge? Lucky for you, we've curated a list of the best shows on Netflix, whether you're a fan of outlandish anime, dramatic period pieces, or shows that leave you questioning what lies beyond.
Social Media

Addicted to Instagram? Its new ‘activity dashboard’ is here to help

Ever get that nagging feeling you're spending too much time on Instagram? Well, a new "activity dashboard" has a bunch of features designed to help you better control how you use the addictive photo-sharing app.
Social Media

Build a wish list and shop videos with Instagram’s latest shopping update

Eyeing a product on Instagram? Now there are more ways to shop from the social network. Instagram just rolled out options to save products in a collection as users can also now shop from videos.

PlayStation 4 celebrates fifth anniversary with ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops 4’ bundle

The PlayStation 4 is officially five years old today, November 15, and to celebrate the anniversary, Sony is offering a new console bundle that includes a free copy of Call of Duty: Black Ops 4.

Inferiority is a feature now! Palm's new plan is psychotic

The Palm is a smartphone to reduce your smartphone usage, or a small smartphone for when you don't want to carry your big smartphone. Palm itself doesn't seem sure which it is, but either way, it's a product that's so witless, we're amazed…
Home Theater

Budget TVs are finally worth buying, and you can thank Roku

Not all that long ago, budget TVs were only worth looking at if, well, you were on a budget. Thanks to Roku, not only are budget TVs now a viable option for anyone, but they might even be a better buy than more expensive TVs.

Huawei and Leica’s monochrome lens is dead, so we celebrate its life

The Huawei Mate 20 and Mate 20 Pro do not have a dedicated monochrome camera lens, unlike the P20 Pro, and various Huawei and Leica phones before it. It's the end of an era, and also the start of a new one, as Leica has worked on its…

Smartphone makers are vomiting a torrent of new phones, and we’re sick of it

Smartphone manufacturers like Huawei, LG, Sony, and Motorola are releasing far too many similar phones. The update cycle has accelerated, but more choice is not always a good thing.

Do we even need 5G at all?

Faster phones, easier access to on-demand video, simpler networking -- on the surface, 5G sounds like a dream. So why is it more of a nightmare?

Razer’s most basic Blade 15 is the one most gamers should buy

Razer's Blade 15 is an awesome laptop for both gamers, streamers, professionals, and anyone else needing serious go in a slim profile, but its price is out of reach for many games. The new Blade 15 Base solves that problem with few…

Going to hell, again. The Switch makes 'Diablo 3' feel brand-new

I've played every version of Diablo 3 released since 2012, racking up hundreds of hours in the process. Six years later, I'm playing it yet again on Nintendo Switch. Somehow, it still feels fresh.
Home Theater

The Apple AirPods 2 needed to come out today. Here are four reasons why

Apple announced numerous new products at its October 30 event, a lineup that included a new iPad Pro, a MacBook Air, as well as a new Mac Mini. Here are four reasons we wish a new set of AirPods were on that list.

‘Fallout 76’ may have online multiplayer but it’s still a desolate wasteland

"Is Fallout 76 an MMO?" That depends on who you ask. Critics and players often cite its online multiplayer capabilities as a reason it qualifies. Yet calling the game an MMO only confuses matters, and takes away from what could make…