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50 Nerds of Grey is the '50 Shades' parody that we all deserve

50 Shades of Grey
Universal Pictures
It started as fan fiction itself, so it only makes sense that 50 Shades of Grey has a few imitations of its own. If steamy romance doesn’t really get you going, then perhaps you’ll be entertained instead by the tech-centric parody that EL James’ hit novel has spawned. Meet @50NerdsOfGrey, a Twitter account that turns raunchy writing into something else entirely.

"Take me to heaven!" she cried.
"I'd love to" he said, "But it's an artificial construct designed to assuage man's guilt and fear of death."

— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) December 30, 2016

If you haven’t yet heard of 50 Shades of Grey, the surprising smash success that originated as an erotic retelling of Twilight (that vampire story involving love between a centuries-old immortal and a teenager in the Pacific northwest), all you need to know is that it involves main characters Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, and a lot of sex. But 50 Nerds of Grey isn’t erotic — it’s actually a bit erudite.

Really, it’s the corruption of the novel you’ve been waiting for. Handcuffs are replaced with hard drives. Instead of sex, there’s software. And don’t worry — 50 Nerds of Grey is decidedly not NSFW. Really, if you start sharing these tweets around your office, you may just become the star of the show.

"Say bad things to me," she begged, "Terrible, unforgivable things!"
"OK," he said, "Rogue One isn't as good as The Phantom Menace."

— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) December 17, 2016

“‘I’ve been a very bad girl,’ she said, biting her lip. ‘I need to be punished.’ ‘Very well,’ he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop,” one of the top tweets from the account reads.

And it’s not just about computers and technology. Really, if you’re a Star Wars fan or a video game connoisseur, you’ll certainly find something in this Twitter account that will tickle your fancy — humorously, of course.

She said she was turned on by men who lived dangerously.
So he ordered all her Christmas presents from Amazon.

— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) December 24, 2016

After all, with quips like, “‘So,’ he asked coolly, ‘Are you ready to play?’ ‘Play what?’ she teased, eyeing the erect wood between his legs. ‘Quidditch!’ he exclaimed,” how could you go wrong?

So don’t be embarrassed to read this on the subway. Just scroll through the amazing Twitter account here, and thank us later.

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