Mark Zuckerberg’s first site proves even geniuses made embarassing Angelfire pages at one point

Screen Shot 2013-04-04 at 6.32.01 PM

Mark Zuckerberg is busy promoting the new Facebook Home for mobile, so it makes sense he hasn’t taken the time to clean up older projects … even really, really old projects. He had years to get rid of the evidence that he once made an Angelfire webpage that touted the merits of quesadillas, so maybe he wanted us to find it.

Some heroes with a lot of free time over at Hacker News unearthed a decades-old Angelfire site associated with the same username on Mark Zuckerberg’s father’s AOL account. More incriminating, the author of the site is someone named “Mark” around the same age as Zuckerberg who grew up in the same area. Even more incriminating: The site’s source code lists someone named “Mark Zuckerberg” as the creator.

Once you look for it, you see traces of the be-hoodied genius everywhere.

Screen Shot 2013-04-04 at 6.26.20 PM

Our personal favorite is the magnetic poetry section on the page. He also has a comfortingly normal teenage boy’s “About Me,” where he says that his name is Slim Shady and discusses hopes that his website remodel will draw the attention of search engines. So on one hand he loved Eminem, which in 1999 was as natural as owning clogs or fearing Y2k. On the other hand, he was predicting the importance of SEO at 15.

The website features a game called Cow-a-bungee, which you might think is a fun Flash game involving bungee jumping cows but in fact is not a fun Flash game and instead involves math (if you’re also a right-brained type, you will want to skip it):

Screen Shot 2013-04-04 at 6.41.28 PMThe rest of Zuckerberg’s page is a mix of teen-type content with the work of an obviously-gifted-young-tech-savant. He even had a  “GPA” section, where he made a feature that lets you plug in all of your grades for all of your classes and it calculates your GPA. Why would he do this? According to the website, “This one goes out to all you psychos, myself included, who obsess over grades.” You win this round, Zuck. Actually, you win all rounds.

Another highlight is his choice of “Suck it!” as the best saying for the year. Correct.

There’s a large excerpt of the list below. Mark Zuckerberg is busy finding ways to conquer new parts of the digital world, so he hasn’t confirmed whether it’s his page or not. But c’mon. It probably is. Don’t kill this dream.

Screen Shot 2013-04-04 at 6.46.37 PM
Social Media

Periscope tool adds guests to feeds so streamers can become talk show hosts

Periscope users can now invite viewers to chime into the conversation with more than just the comment tool. By enabling the option to add guests, livestreamers can add guests to the conversation, in audio format only.

From fatalities to new characters, here's what we know about Mortal Kombat 11

Mortal Kombat 11 releases April 23 for the PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, and PC. Here is everything we know about NetherRealm's latest fighting game, including its characters.

Did Pittsburgh's Antonio Brown fall victim to the Madden Curse?

Join us as we take a tour through the long-running history of the Madden Curse -- and Tom Brady's recent accolades. We all know John Madden is a longtime NFL talent, but is he also an agent of dark forces?

You're never too broke to enjoy the best free-to-play games

Believe it or not, free-to-play games have evolved into engaging, enjoyable experiences. Here are a few of our favorites that you can play right now, including Warframe and the perennially popular League of Legends.
Movies & TV

J.J. Abrams wraps production on Star Wars: Episode IX with a heartfelt message

Star Wars: The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams has wrapped production on Star Wars: Episode IX, which he directed and co-wrote. Here's everything we know about the movie before it premieres in December 2019.

Crouching, climbing, and creeping, the perfect Instagram shot knows no bounds

Just how far will you go for the perfect Instagram? A recent survey shows just how willing Instagram users -- and Instagram husbands -- are to climb, lie down, embarrass themselves or let their food go cold for the perfect shot.
Social Media

Facebook’s long-promised ‘unsend’ feature arrives. Here’s how to use it

Send a message to the wrong person? Messenger now gives you 10 minutes to take it back. After an update beginning to roll out today, users can now retract messages if they act within the first 10 minutes after sending the message.
Social Media

YouTube boss admits even her own kids gave the ‘Rewind’ video a thumbs down

YouTube's 2018 Rewind video went down like a lead balloon at the end of last year, becoming the most disliked video in its history. And now YouTube's CEO has admitted that even her own kids thought it was pretty darn awful.
Social Media

Snapchat finally recovers from its redesign — so here comes an Android update

Snapchat's drop in users after launching a controversial redesign has finally stagnated. During the fourth quarter and 2018 earnings report, Snapchat shared that the company is rolling out an Android update designed to increase performance.
Social Media

Skype’s new ‘blur background’ feature could help keep you from blushing

Skype's latest feature for desktop lets you blur your background during video calls. The idea is that it keeps you as the focus instead of distracting others with whatever embarrassing things you might have on show behind you.
Social Media

Twitter users are declining but more people are seeing ads every day

Twitter's end-of-the-year report for 2018 is a mix of good and bad news. The good news is that more users are seeing adds daily, the metric the company will focus on moving forward. But the bad news is that monthly active users are…

Switch up your Reddit routine with these interesting, inspiring, and zany subs

So you've just joined the wonderful world of Reddit and want to explore it. With so many subreddits, however, navigating the "front page of the internet" can be daunting. Here are some of the best subreddits to get you started.

YouTube beats Apple, Netflix as the most trusted brand by millennials

The popular video sharing website YouTube climbed up in an annual Mblm study, moving up from third place in 2018 and coming ahead of both Apple and Netflix in final 2019 rankings. 
Social Media

LinkedIn finally gets around to launching its own live video tool

Live video is coming to LinkedIn for businesses and individuals on the site. The livestreaming feature is launching in beta in the U.S. before rolling out to the entire community.