Finding a needle in a haystack: These are the worst types of selfies

the worst type of selfies you can post selfie
One of the social Web’s favorite things, for better or worse, is the selfie. It is the reincarnation of the much abhorred “MySpace pic,” and it has became an unstoppable and acceptable way of documenting our digital lives – instead of telling people what you’re doing or where you are or what your favorite something is, you pose while doing your (mundane) thing and intentionally apply a photo filter to your shot that will make it look vintage.

While we’ve all been guilty of the self-gratifying fad once or twice, the fact that there are categories of selfies is incredibly upsetting. Take for example this new gem:

bookshelfie

For the love of… bookshelfies? Really? The bookshelfie is just the latest in a long line of horrible selfie subgenres. Here are the worst of them in all their horrible, self-loving glory.

1. The bathroom selfie

This is the worst of the worst – do I even have to explain why? – so let’s just get this out of the way and move on. Actually, looking at the example above should lead us right to…

2. The duckface selfie

Since MySpace – the social network responsible for this fiasco of a fad – has gone through a makeover and has moved on to greener pastures, there really is no reason for people to keep reliving this facial expression that is neither cute nor sexy. Cheeks are meant to be fat and puffy people, so stop sucking air in and making your lips look like an anus.

3. The fitting room selfie

I get why you would think this would be totally fine (you are, after all, only asking for an opinion because you’re having such a hard time choosing), but unless your Instagram is restricted to your innermost circle of friends, you shouldn’t catalog your shopping options. One, because most of your followers won’t give a damn, and two, you’re opening yourself up to a slew of not-so-appropriate comments:

fitting room selfie

4. The winking selfie

Just because it’s not as adorable as you thought it would be. Really. Plus, we all know you aren’t actually winking because then the photo would have been blurred. You’re just sitting there with one eye closed like an idiot.

5. The see-food selfie

Nope, I don’t need to know how you process pasta. Just… no.

6. The crying selfie

Really? You’re miserable and inconsolable and the first thing you think of doing is documenting this heart-wrenching moment on Instagram? This will be terribly confusing for those who follow you – either they’re jerks for liking a photo of you crying (they’re pretty much liking the fact that you’re in pain) or they’re jerks for not liking your pic so you can feel validated and loved. Please, have some dignity and cry in the shower while sliding down the bathroom wall like a normal person. Also…crying about One Direction is… man, there are no words.

7. The sleeping selfie

Because you’re supposed to be sleeping. You lying liar.

Smart Home

Picture this: The Aura packs thousands of photos in a single frame (for a price)

Are you one of those people who miss the good old days of flipping through photo albums to see each and every favorite photo? If so, you might love the Aura digital photo frame. We tested the device and came away impressed.
Movies & TV

Winter coming in spring? HBO reveals 'Game of Thrones' season 8 premiere date

With the eighth and final season looming, Game of Thrones fever has officially become a pandemic. Our list of all the relevant news and rumors will help make the wait more bearable, if you don't mind spoilers.
Computing

Our favorite Windows apps will help you get the most out of your new PC

Not sure what apps you should be downloading for your newfangled Windows device? Here are the best Windows apps, whether you need something to speed up your machine or access your Netflix queue. Check out our categories and favorite picks.
Mobile

Which smartphone has the best camera? We found the sharpest shooters

They say that the best camera is always the one you have with you and that makes your smartphone camera very important indeed. Join us for a closer look at the best camera phones available right now.
Social Media

Snapchat’s PR firm is suing an influencer for failing to influence

Snapchat's PR firm is suing a social media influencer for his alleged failure to promote Spectacles on Instagram. Actor Luka Sabbat was paid $45,000 upfront, but the suit claims he fell well short of the terms of the deal.
Computing

Urban legends for the digital age: The best scary stories from the internet

In need of some simple scares this Halloween? We've combed the internet for the best creepypastas, urban legends, and scary stories. From found footage YouTube videos to a deceptively scary wiki, these stories are sure to spook.
Mobile

WhatsApp finally gives in to the lure of cash-generating ads

WhatsApp's co-founders always said their messaging app would never show ads, but once the pair quit the company, it seemed inevitable that its owner, Facebook, would find a way to incorporate them.
Mobile

Shazam hooks up with Instagram Stories for another way to share songs

The latest update for Apple-owned Shazam lets iPhone users share music tracks to Instagram Stories in a few quick taps. To enable the feature, just make sure you have the latest version of Shazam loaded on your handset.
Social Media

Dine and dash(board): Make a Yelp reservation from your car’s control panel

Already in the car, but can't decide where to eat? Yelp Reservations can now be added to some dashboard touchscreens. Yelp Reservations searches for restaurants within 25 miles of the vehicle's location.
Computing

Hackers sold 120 million private Facebook messages, report says

Up to 120 million private Facebook messages were being sold online by hackers this fall. The breach was first discovered in September and the messages were obtained through unnamed rogue browser extensions. 
Web

Switch up your Reddit routine with these interesting, inspiring, and zany subs

So you've just joined the wonderful world of Reddit and want to explore it. With so many subreddits, however, navigating the "front page of the internet" can be daunting. You're in luck -- we've gathered 23 of the best subreddits to help…
Social Media

Facebook opens pop-up stores at Macy’s, but they’re not selling the Portal

Facebook has opened pop-up stores at multiple Macy's, though they're not selling Facebook's new Portal device. Instead, they're showcasing small businesses and brands that are already popular on Facebook and Instagram.
Social Media

Facebook Messenger will soon let you delete sent messages

A feature coming to Facebook Messenger will let you delete a message for up to 10 minutes after you send it. The company promised the feature months ago and this week said it really is on its way ... "soon."
Social Media

Pinterest brings followed content front and center with full-width Pin format

Want to see Pinterest recommendations, or just Pins from followed users? Now Pinners can choose with a Pinterest Following feed update. The secondary feed eliminates recommendation and is (almost) chronological.