WTF, Internet? The cost of a viral Vine is too high

wtf internet vine memes are the stuff of lowest common denominator slap cam

FINE – I’ll admit it! The second Instagram introduced its video feature I was like, “Welp, it’s been fun, Vine, but I’m out!” and deleted that nonsense immediately.

Actually, it hadn’t been fun. I never grasped why it was so interesting to create and watch six second looping videos. Yes, they were GIF-like but they certainly weren’t GIFs, and I didn’t find them an iota as entertaining. Sure, people did some creative things with the app, but people do creative things with apps all the time, and I didn’t find myself interested in scrolling first-hand through the feed to appreciate them myself, like I do with Instagram. That’s your job Internet: Go find the good ones, and tell me about them. Don’t make me do things myself.

So sure, I’m a hater, but at least I’m self-aware. For whatever reason, there was something I just couldn’t put my finger on that made me dislike Vine.

Well, consider that finger put – because the #SmackCam meme makes it completely clear why the platform turns me off. A brief explanation of the Vine SmackCam viral sensation: Someone, usually a teenage boy or girl (or a member of the St. Louis Rams), creates a Vine of themselves hurtling something into an unassuming person’s face or head. The victim then looks stunned, and sometimes cries. That’s the entirety of it.

It probably started out as a joke; maybe no one was even hurt. Maybe both people thought it was funny. Clearly, things have escalated. SmackCam complication videos have gone viral: In addition to individual Vines receiving tons of likes, YouTube video round ups have gotten hundreds of thousands of views. 

There is demand for the SmackCam – but it’s lowest common denominator stuff. It’s just hurting people – or joking about hurting people – and then … finding it funny? Some of these videos easily border on assault and there have been warnings that people interested in being a part of the fad need to be sure not to take things to that level (because we all know people who want things to viral have an amazing amount of self restraint!). Please don’t make me be the old person here, guys, but seriously – someone is really going to get hurt. 

It totally exemplifies why I never liked Vine: All the “popular,” “viral,” content and memes coming out of the platform seemed stupid, or even mildly horrible. Seriously, I just have no need for: Videos of twerking, videos of pets twerking, videos of what you’re watching on TV, or what you’re drooling (seriously, it’s the #everybodyspurts meme).

Vine seems like it was eaten up by these “too cool for school” type of social media users. The ones that use hashtags ironically and disdainfully say “Ooooooh you still use Facebook?” but then go and make a Vine where they do a voice over for an episode of “Spongebob Squarepants.” It was this weird, self-referential, social media-mocking type of humor that I’m supposed to pretend like I get and find funny because it makes me more interesting.

Well, the jig is up. You win. I don’t get it, I’m not cool, I don’t think hitting people is funny. I’m going to go send my sister a Facebook message about that dancing raccoon video making the rounds. Maybe a “Mad Men” GIF to boot. Sorry I’m not trendy and challenging pop culture like all you SmackCammers out there. Keep it up though, because if the world needed something, it was six, never-ending, looped seconds of you smashing someone’s head with a gallon of milk. And a cat doing this.

I’m sorry. You probably won’t ever be able to unsee that. 

The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not reflect the beliefs of Digital Trends.

Social Media

Instagram now lets you post to multiple accounts in one tap

Instagram for iPhone now lets you post to multiple accounts at the same time. It's not the regram feature that many users have been asking for, but it could prove useful for some users who manage more than one profile.
Web

Switch up your Reddit routine with these interesting, inspiring, and zany subs

So you've just joined the wonderful world of Reddit and want to explore it. With so many subreddits, however, navigating the "front page of the internet" can be daunting. Here are some of the best subreddits to get you started.
Gaming

Find all of the secret exits and world skips in 'New Super Luigi U Deluxe'

Just like all other 2D Mario games, New Super Mario Bros. Deluxe includes secret exits and world skips. In this guide, we'll show you how to get to all 12 secret exits in New Super Luigi U.
Smart Home

A.I.’s humorous side: Here are the funniest things to ask Alexa

Amazon's Alexa voice assistant has a wide repertoire of funny responses, jokes, and hidden replies that you can have fun with. Here are the best funny things to ask Alexa and examples of what her responses are.
Emerging Tech

Wish you could fly? You totally can with these top-of-the-line drones

In just the past few years, drones have transformed from a geeky hobbyist affair to a full-on cultural phenomenon. Here's a no-nonsense rundown of the best drones you can buy right now, no matter what kind of flying you plan to do.
Social Media

No yolk! A photo of an egg has become the most-liked post on Instagram

Until this weekend, the most-liked post on Instagram was of Kylie Jenner's baby daughter, which has around 18 million likes. It's now been knocked off the top spot not by a stunning sunset or even a cute cat, but by an egg.
Social Media

Invite your friends — Facebook Events can now be shared to Stories

Facebook is testing a way to make plans with friends to attend an event -- through Stories. By sharing an event in Facebook Stories, users can message other friends interested in the event to make plans to attend together.
Social Media

A quick swipe will soon let you keep bingeing YouTube on mobile devices

The YouTube mobile app has a new, faster way to browse: Swiping. Once the update rolls out, users can swipe to go to the next (or previous) video in the recommended list, even while viewing in full screen.
Photography

Starting your very own vlog? Here are the best cameras to buy

Any camera that shoots video can be used to vlog, but a few models stand out from the crowd thanks to superior image quality, ergonomics, and usability. When it comes to putting your life on YouTube, here are the best cameras for the job.
Social Media

Twitter extends its new timeline feature to Android users

Twitter users with an Android device can now quickly switch between an algorithm-generated timeline and one that shows the most recent tweets first. The new feature landed for iPhone users last month.
Social Media

YouTube to crack down on dangerous stunts like the ‘Bird Box’ challenge

YouTube already bans content showing dangerous activities, but new rules published by the site go into greater detail regarding potentially harmful challenges and pranks, including certain blindfold- or laundry detergent-based stunts.
Social Media

Nearly 75 percent of U.S. users don’t realize Facebook tracks their interests

Did you know Facebook tracks your interests, including political and multicultural affiliations? According to a recent Pew study, 74 percent of adult users in the U.S. have no idea Facebook keeps a running list of your interests.
Mobile

It’s back! Here’s how to switch to Twitter’s reverse chronological feed

Twitter has finally brought back the reverse chronological feed, allowing you to see your feed based on the newest tweets, rather than using Twitter's algorithm that shows what it thinks you want to see. It's easy to switch.