Rumors about Nintendo’s next console are heating up. GamesIndustry.biz sparked some conversation this week after publishing predictions from an industry analyst about what to expect from Nintendo’s next system. Serkan Toto of Kantan Games predicts that the console won’t be a drastic overhaul of the Switch, but rather an iterative successor. That’s only a guess, but a plausible one that gamers are starting to accept as a real possibility.
If that does wind up being the case, Nintendo has a hard task ahead of it. The company has historically struggled with trying to capitalize on revolutionary hardware with smaller upgrades. The Nintendo Wii U was a flop in large part due to its confusing marketing. Some casual gamers weren’t sure if it was a new console or just an upgrade to the Wii, stopping them from running out the door to trade in their beloved system. A Switch successor with all the same basic functions could run into the same issues if its plagued with unclear marketing.
The next Switch needs to have a big, bold name that makes it clear that it’s a new system. It needs to be as memorable as the Switch, but still close enough to it to draw a connection to the system. That’s why Nintendo should run far away from this list of terrible suggestions we dreamed up for its next console.
Switch II
There’s one very obvious answer as to what Nintendo should name its next console: the Switch 2. It’s not sexy, but it certainly would be the clearest, most bankable name possible. We wanted to ruin that. Instead of adding a simple “2,” Nintendo could really stir up confusion if it went with a “II.” But that’s not all! The official logo could get cute with the number, having two Joy-Cons represent the roman numeral. That would ensure that casual buyers would have no idea that the console was a sequel, following in the footsteps of the Wii U and its overly stylized logo.
Nintendo Series NX
Currently, Microsoft holds the award for “most confusing console name” thanks to its Xbox Series X and Series S. The branding seems more appropriate for iPhones than consoles, making it a little unclear what the difference between them is to an average buyer. Nintendo absolutely should not follow suit, but if it did, there’s an obvious option: the Nintendo Series NX. If that sounds familiar, it’s because “NX” was the original code name for the Switch. Going with Series NX would act as a cute, inside baseball wink to the Switch’s history that virtually no one would understand outside of die-hard gaming fans. Everyone else would be left wondering if Nintendo made a smartphone.
Switch 2 Ultra 5G UW
Actually, let’s take that idea one step further, because no one is worse at naming products than smartphone manufacturers. Just look at Apple and its current line of iPhone 15s, which includes the Pro and Pro Max. With phones, the more words you have tacked on to the end, the more premium the product feels. Nintendo could really cause headaches if it took some notes from Samsung and went with the Switch 2 Ultra 5G UW. Is it a pro version of an existing Switch 2? Is there a non-5G version? What in the world does UW mean? That’s for your confused mom to figure out the week of Christmas.
Nintendo Switch N27S QD-OLED Mini Generation 2
Wait, no, let’s go even further. If we really want to get deep into confounding tech product names, things get very confusing fast once you get into the world of TVs. Sony is especially notorious for long product names with lots of numbers tacked on, despite the fact that it has the most elegant console naming convention. Nintendo already dipped into this strain of product naming with the Nintendo Switch OLED, one of the first gaming devices to put a hardware feature in its name, so let’s just go all out. Throw a whole product SKU at the end of it. Release an updated model every few months with a new one. Get the most impressive display possible on it and make sure that’s squeezed in there. Put “Mini” in the name to make sure people don’t confuse it for a TV. It’s time to go all or nothing, cowards!
Nintendo Switchty Four
Look, I’m not going to dignify this one with a blurb. I said these were our worst names, OK?
The Nintendo
This idea is so bad that it comes back around to being good. Maybe. At the end of the day, Nintendo is the only branding that matters. The company could very much put out a console simply called The Nintendo at this point and make bank. That’s debatably what Microsoft is trying to go for right now, using the Xbox name as the primary selling point over any attached modifier. Nintendo could get away with taking that idea to a logical conclusion. After all, consider how many boomers just refer to every video game console as “The Nintendo” already. Why not capitalize on the confusion by creating the one console to rule them all?
