Google Dad Directions: The hilarious imaginary app you never wanted

By Parker Hall Published September 11, 2015

Feel like navigating via outdated landmarks and taking a lot of wrong turns? Tired of using Apple Maps for that? Internet comedy outfit Above Average offers a novel solution plucked straight from your childhood via a hilarious parody video called Google Dad Directions.

The three minute clip starts with a happy couple headed to dinner when the new app — in the form of a virtual version of the driver’s father — pops up on the navigation screen, and then refuses to close for hours.

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As you’ll see, dads aren’t just adept at bad directions. They can also nag you to change your reservations for a restaurant you dislike, and suggest a meal you hate. And, like a lot of parents, your virtual dad can even inadvertently make mildly racist comments about the family that just moved in down the street.

While it’s just an imaginary app, the tech behind Dad Directions utilizes some impressively cutting edge AI. Minus an initial fatherly “huh?” when prompted with a verbal command, and despite a few senior moments, the app seems to be highly-skilled at comprehending every question asked … and then ignoring it. Heck, even the interface is pretty slick in a lo-fi kind of way. It comes in the form of an 8-bit image of a father with three big green touch screen buttons for all your Dad needs — “Call Your Mother,” “Fishing Stores,” and “Play Music (The Doobie Brothers).”

Of course, the tech for Dad Directions isn’t all state-of-the-art: the app features a printer, so your digital pops can “draw you a map” in the form of a terrible sketch on a napkin, along with an added request to pick up batteries.

Thanks to Google Maps, and its even more traffic-savvy Waze app, the days of relying on family and friends for horrible directions that are impossible to follow are over for most of us.

That said, those with brothers and sisters might love to get their hands on a real-life version of Google Dad Directions to secretly mount in their siblings’ cars as a prank — especially given how hilariously difficult it seems to be to disable: “Uh Uh! Buddy, I want to see two hands on that wheel!”

Former Senior Writer, Home Theater/Music

Parker Hall is a writer and musician from Portland, OR. He is a graduate of the Oberlin Conservatory of Music in Oberlin…

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