If buttons are all it takes for bedding to be ‘smart,’ I’d rather be dumb

Smart Bedding kickstarter

Sixty percent of the time, people hate making beds all the time. That was an Anchorman reference in case that didn’t make sense to you, but it’s beside the point. What I’m getting at is that our culture has a general dislike for tidying things, so anything that makes cleaning easier should automatically become a commercial success. Still, perhaps this “Smart Bedding” by Marshall & Jon uses the term “smart” a bit too liberally.

The purpose of “Smart Bedding” is to help bed making less cumbersome so people can produce results worthy of a HGTV magazine photoshoot. Designers Marshall Haas and Jon Wheatley claim that people sleep better when they get into a neatly-made bed, and not one that looked like it has seen kinkier days.

Smart Bedding kickstarter how it worksTheir solution: Attaching buttons on the edges of the top sheet so people can pin it directly on the comforter. This way, the top sheet doesn’t crumple up and fall off in the middle of the night, and when it’s time to make the bed, you don’t have to tuck the top sheet in first before spreading the comforter on top. If things get too hot, users can also just detach the comforter and sleep with just the top sheet. Buttons? That’s all it takes for a bedding set to become “smart”? This must mean I’ve got a closet full of genius blouses.

The designers say sleeping with top sheets also helps with laundry, because the top sheet helps separate your comforter from your sweaty, stinky, sleeping self – thus reducing the need to wash the comforter as often. When you’re up in the morning, it’s simple as lifting the comforter and flattening it back out on your mattress.

smart bedding solution

Here’s the thing: I don’t sleep with a top sheet. I don’t see the point – blankets aren’t that hard to wash, I shower before bed, and I’d like to think I don’t transform into a mud monster overnight. In the summer, I also put away my fluffy comforter and use a thinner, lighter blanket that keeps me cool at night. For those who sleep without a top sheet, this design won’t do anything to relieve bed making.

If the designers had created a bedding set where all I had to do push was a button for sheets to be tightly tucked hotel housekeeping style, I’d be all over it. If the sheets had sensors underneath which tracked your movements during the night to assess pressure points and help improve your sleep habits, that’d be smart. But buttons make not smart bedding: It’s just a simple solution to solve a problem only 50 percent of people face.

If you qualify as a percentage of that 50 percent, you can pledge for a smart bedding set now on Kickstarter starting at $90 for a three piece twin sized set. The prices go up according to larger sets and bed sizes, and shipment is scheduled for September of this year. Midwestern mothers will probably be ecstatic for such development, but I’ll just crawl back into the comfort of my silk blanket to get through this heat wave. Here’s a better idea: Can you guys design a fitted sheet that doesn’t require me to go to war with my mattress each time I need to put bedsheets on alone? Now that’s a struggle, real talk.