“Their season was innocent, but one day … everything changed forever,” the narrator says as Franco’s “Blade Johnson” argues with Javier Bardem over whether he can win a game of Madden to rescue his kidnapped girlfriend.
He isn’t alone in his quest, however: Joining Franco are Rob Gronkowski, Julio Jones, Antonio Brown, Rex Ryan (who Mintz-Plasse’s “Janet” is convinced is his father), and Colin Kaepernick, who gives an admirable Al Pacino impression and eats a crumpled-up piece of paper.
But it could all come to a heart-wrenching end when Rex Ryan is tragically killed by a stray football. He probably just got the wind knocked out of him, though. He’s a big fellow.
If the five-minute trailer is anything to go by, the “full” movie will also feature a Bollywood dance number, explosions, a dozen motorcycles, Rob Gronkowski firing a football turret like something out of Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare, and a twenty-second shot of Julio Jones repeatedly slapping a man in the face while staring at the camera. There’s also a dinosaur, for some reason. If that doesn’t get you excited for a completely unrelated video game, I don’t know what will.
“Cancel awards season … we have a winner.”
Madden NFL 16 releases August 25 for Xbox One, Xbox 360, PlayStation 4, and PlayStation 3. It probably won’t feature Dave Franco or Christopher Mintz-Plasse, but it does include a “risk/reward” passing system and the return of Ultimate Team mode.