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The Democratic National Convention was full of nonsensical gibberish and nobody noticed

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It’s going to be tough for the Democrats to come back from this one.

A YouTube channel by the name of “Bad Lip Reading” has obtained unreleased footage from the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia last month, and it isn’t pretty. Yeah, it’s worse than the email scandal. Worse than the Wall Street speaking fees.

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The video includes Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton admitting not only does she have “man servants,” but also cheers for their tears. She also makes fun of water boys who get their clothes at the dump, and advises ladies trying to seduce Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

“Two cheers for all the tears of my man servants,” she proudly exclaimed. “They sort of can smile, and always get me the sugar packet. They’re like property of mine.”

An admission regarding her illegal use of man-slaves won’t help her fight to win the White House — and neither will her comments on service workers.

“I can’t drink when the guy that brings the water for everyone got all his clothes at the dump,” she said.

The blatant disregard for hardworking, middle-class Americans in the remark represents a complete 180 from her campaign’s messaging thus far, and likely surprised voters attending the convention.

And while her previous swipes at Trump have proved effective, a rant advising women on how they can seduce the candidate with botox and dogs might not have gotten the results she was looking for.

“Ladies, if you’re trying to seduce Donald Trump, you’re going to have to get some botox and dogs,” she said. “You will need both things to get any of the daddy action.”

But it isn’t entirely clear that the Democrats made the wrong choice between Clinton and former nominee Bernie Sanders — the video also includes comments from Sanders himself, talking complete nonsense.

“There’s an accepted way to prepare for puberty. You yell weird things and have to get your comics together. But as you read in the good comics, the guy can reproduce by fire,” he said. “Think about it! Blue grace, metaform, if they can’t do it, how come I read about it?”

Bad Lip Reading began with parodies of pop music hits, but soon moved into politics, where the videos were featured on Ellen. BLR parodies of the 2012 presidential candidates gained millions of views, and it looks like this year’s election will be no different. Fear not, Democrats — the Republicans were not spared during last year’s debate.

Harrison Kaminsky
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