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15 weird Japanese toys that probably shouldn’t exist

Japan is a nation with an undeniably unique culture. The art, technology, and cuisine the country produces posses certain attributes that are distinctly Japanese. That said, it’s very easy to tell when something is made in Japan. While Japanese culture is often very fun and expressive, it can also be strange to an outsider who has little knowledge of the region’s customs. Certain taboos that exist in American culture are absent in Japanese culture, and vice versa. So certain things that might not fly here in the States — such as a children’s toy modeled after a dead cat, or stuffed plush novelties made to resemble human waste, for instance — are a normal occurrence in Japan.

Below are 15 Japanese toys who have us scratching our heads in confusion.

Barack Obama Action Figure

Obama Action Figure

There are many of people out there who like to call President Obama a puppet, and Japanese toy maker Gamu Toys has seemingly taken the ramblings of conspiracy theorists and made them a reality. The Barack Obama action figure comes with several interchangeable heads and hands, as well as full articulation, so you can deck out the 44th President of the United States with an assortment weapons and position him in whatever badass pose you see fit for our nation’s leader.

Kappa Kick

Russian Roulette Toy

All the fun of Russian Roulette with none of the mess! This gun-shaped toy is actually a hippo that will kick you in the head if you happen to pull the (un)lucky trigger . We’re a bit concerned at the idea of Russian Roulette being marketed to kids, no matter what adorable animals the toy is centered around. I mean, when’s the last time you sat down to watch The Deer Hunter?

Robot Cat

Robot Cat Toy

For those who have cat hair allergies, and don’t mind the cold dead stare of a machine, you’re in luck. The Yume Neko Venus Robotic Cat will give you the sensation of petting a tuft of moving, purring fur with none of the added benefits of owning a real cat whatsoever. No shots required.

Roadkill Cat

Roadkill Cat Toy

Speaking of dead cats, this lovely little bit of plastic and rubber recreates one of the most vivid and cloying images of any child’s nascent memories: the first time they witness a car running over the beloved family pet. We’re not sure what’s more disturbing, the toy itself, or the delightful expression on the child lining the bottom-right corner of the simple packaging.

Human Waste Plushies

Pee and Poo Plush Toys

We’ve never felt once the need to cuddle up with anything remotely resembling human excrement, but for those that do, this pair of plushies will put the fun in bodily function. Evacuating your bowels has never been so kawaii!

“Shave The Baby” Doll

Shaveable Baby Toy

Who doesn’t love the rush of shaving another human being? Japan’s Shaving baby doll comes with thick, bushy tufts of red hair protruding all over its body (legs, face, buttocks, etc). The aim is to give customers the “satisfaction” of shaving the doll’s hair. Believe it or not, we’ll pass for now.

Crying Doll

Crying Baby

Can’t you imagine the enthusiastic commercial voice over for this toy: “Arm puncturing action! Cries real tears! Satisfies your child’s deeply disturbing desire to inflict pain on another being!”

Tuttuki Bako

Tuttuki Bako

Japan is the mecca for virtual pet toys, and this little box is one of the stranger examples. The Tuttuki Bako has several different mini games in which you can interact with various creatures and characters by poking them. It also serves as an alarm clock, so you can poke the box first thing in the morning.

Pregnant Doll

Pregnant Doll with Baby on an Umbilical Cord

This disgusting doll might look like it was ripped straight out of Cannibal Corpse’s album art, but it was actually used as an educational tool during Edo-era Japan. However, the meticulous detail and overall off-putting aesthetic of the doll also make it one of the most disturbing toys on our list.

RC Centipede

RC Centipede

We have a serious bone to pick with whoever decided that the most visually-upsetting insect to walk the Earth needed to be turned into a remote-controlled, walking nightmare. Nonetheless, it would make a terrific prank for anyone without a conscience or sense of respect.

Anpanman Toilet

Anpanman Japanese Toilet Toy

While this toilet figure — which is based on one of the most popular Japanese children’s characters, Anpanman —  isn’t necessarily all that strange on its own, there seems to be a preoccupation with what each character in the Apanman franchise defecates. There are numerous YouTube videos of people showing off their favorite Apanman stools, and this toilet toy is at the center of it all.

Face Bank

Japanese Face Bank

This coin bank will slowly and creepily eat your pocket change right out of your hand… or gnaw absently at the air as if conveying some subtle threat to you and everyone you love. Yikes.

H-Bouya

H Bouya Toy

The H-Bouya is a USB-powered figurine whose face goes red every time the “H” key is pressed. That may sound harmless, sure, but keep in mind that the letter “H” is often used as a shorthand label for all things perverted and/or pornographic in Japan.

The Humping Dog USB Stick

Humping Dog USB Stick

Since dealing with an over-zealous pup is something all dog owners adore, why not recreate that awkward encounter every time you plug in your USB stick? This USB powered gag sure lights the spark in Sparky, though, we imagine it would get old rather quick.

Baby in a Microwave

Baby in a Microwave Toy

Look, we don’t know what to say about this one. Of all the entries on our list, the one takes the cake for being the most bizarre, gross, and disturbing “toy.” We’re not sure why it exists, but it does, and it’s baffling. Sometimes it’s just best to stick with a classic G.I. Joe figurine.