When Saints Row ventures into the netherworld on January 20, 2015, a whole lot of demons are going to be snuffed out. Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell sends Johnny Gat and Kinzie Kensington down into Satan’s domain in a search for their kidnapped leader, the playable character of previous Saints Row games.
Given the hellish setting and Deep Silver Volition’s penchant for offbeat humor, the team cooked up a set of seven ultimate weapons, each one modeled after the Seven Deadly Sins. These are the best of the best in the game’s arsenal of demon-snuffing tools, with significant challenges facing anyone that dares to seek them out. You might have to take down a boss, or amass a fortune that would make Satan himself jealous, or just pick the thing up off the ground (Sloth, yo).
Related: The Saints Row brawler that never was: Check out Cooler, canceled in 2010
Each weapon can be upgraded just like any other, but maxing one out unlocks an alternate form that is even more deadly to the denizens of the underworld. The particulars of hunting each of the Seven Deadly Weapons will remain a mystery until the game is out for PlayStation, Windows, and Xbox in 2015, but here’s a rundown of each one, what it looks like and how it performs, compliments of Volition.
Envy: Uriel’s Edge
This is a giant, golden sword with a blade of fire. It’s the embodiment of a badass melee weapon. You’re meant to envy it. Once you wield it, you become the envy of all that you see. Especially when you zip around, slicing up demon fools with quick slashes and roiling balls of fire.
The journey to wrapping your hands around the hilt of Uriel’s Edge won’t be an easy one. It’s guarded by the chief Arch-Dukes in Satan’s army, each of whom is tasked with watching over the five islands of New Hades. You didn’t really expect to get a weapon inspired by Envy without a fight, did you?
Pride: Gallows Dodger
Gallows Dodger fills the pistol slot, and of course it’s a work of Pride. Resembling something closer to a shotgun-meets-chaingun, this monstrosity of a hand weapon has its own meter that fills as you gun down Satan’s armies. Top it off and Gallows Dodger goes into overkill mode, creating a spectacle that its wielder can be proud of.
Here’s the funny thing about this weapon: It’s sentient. Unlike the other Seven Deadly Weapons, Gallows Dodger has a lot to say, and it’s ready to share. You’ll have to retrieve it first, though, by exacting revenge on an old enemy of the Saints.
Greed: Diamond Sting
This one’s pretty neat. Diamond Sting is an SMG-class weapon that helps you grow your fortune in Wages of Sin, Gat Out of Hell‘s currency. It shoots diamonds, and those diamonds cause enemies to drop more cash than they normally would. Why not just skip the shooting and hoard those diamonds for yourself, you ask? Shut up, that’s why.
The weapon that embodies Greed can only be handled by a greedy player. You’ll have to really hoard your cash to get this one. Those weapon upgrades you want? Skip ’em. The ammo refill? Whatever, so wasteful. You can farm it from downed enemies! Stop spending your Wages of Sin for long enough, and you’ll taste the Diamond Sting.
Lust: Boom Chicka
If you notice that the Boom Chicka shotgun bears a resemblance to a certain purple-colored melee weapon from Saints Row games of yesteryear… well… you got it! The appropriately named Boom Chicka embodies Lust by bringing your enemies together… so you can explode them! Each bullet releases a whiff of perfume that attracts any nearby enemies to the victim. Once you’ve got a nice, little group gathered together, why not give them a warm welcome to Grenade City?
The origins of the Boom Chicka are mysterious, and the route to getting it is no less so. It’s in the possession of a known Saints ally… but what price will you have to pay to retrieve it?
Sloth: Armchair-A-Geddon
You might have seen Armchair-A-Geddon before. Deep Silver already gave us a look at the deadly living room piece before it was clear that the weapon was part of a larger set. Of course this one is the embodiment of Sloth. You ease back in its comfy cushions and let your eyes drift shut as the twin-mounted chainguns and volleys of rocket fire do your dirty work.
We’ve not yet been able to confirm exactly where you go to get your hands on Armchair-A-Geddon, but obtaining it is relatively simple once you’ve found it. Just pick it up off the ground. What did you expect? This is Sloth.
Wrath: Ark of the Covenant
The Ark of the Covenant. C’mon, Indiana Jones fans. You remember the scene. Melting faces, souls sucked out, a whole gang of Nazis just melting down into goo before your very eyes. Good times. This explosive weapon plays like an evil take on Yoshi. It sucks in the souls of your enemies and then, in a show of Wrath, spits them out with explosive force.
Getting the Ark of the Covenant into your arsenal is no easy task. It belongs to Satan’s number-one lieutenant. You’ll have to take this foe out before you can start hoovering those souls. But little do you know… Satan’s right hand is a familiar face….
Gluttony: Last Supper
Gluttony’s weapon, Last Supper, slots in as a special weapon. It’s a cake frosting gun from Hell. Yes, the weapon fires out streams of delicious, sugar-filled cake topping. It’s not even lethal, not directly. But any enemy coated in frosting — or a group of them, if you use the explosive alt-fire — is viewed as a delicious snack by any surrounding enemies. So slather on the frosting and watch as your foes feast on themselves.
We admit to being completely clueless with regards to how Last Supper is attained. It probably involves snacks though. Lots and lots of snacks.
