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BMW’s new 2 Series is The Little Bimmer That Could … run 0 to 60 in 4.8 seconds

After long – OK short – wait, the new BMW 2 Series is here. Just as expected, it’s bigger, faster, and more expensive than the 1 Series. You had to see that coming, though. This is BMW after all.

The first 2 Series offerings hitting American showrooms in early 2014 will be the 228i and the M235i.

The 228i will pack a twin-turbocharged 2.0-liter four-cylinder making 240 horsepower and 258 pound-feet of torque. Paired with the eight-speed automatic, it’ll make a 0-60 sprint in 5.4 seconds and onto a top speed of 130 mph. It will also achieve 23 mpg city, 35 mpg highway, and 27 mpg combined.

The sportiest 2 is the M235i with a 322-hp and 332 lb-ft twin-turbo 3.0-liter inline six. The torque-y six will run the 2 to 60 in 4.8 seconds and onto a top speed of 155 mph. When not at full throttle, the M235i is rated at 19 mph city, 28 mpg highway, and 22 mpg combined.

Both cars will come with a six-speed manual as standard and offer an eight-speed auto for extra coin. While I love manuals, the BMW eight-speed auto is so good, you won’t go wrong either way. Oh and for those of you who don’t realize, the 2 Series – unlike the CLA or the A3 – will send all its power to the rear wheels.

Despite its brilliant engine and transmission option, I think the 2 Series is lacking in the looks department. While it is not as boring as I had feared, it’s not great either. The standout gorgeousness of the 3 Series has been downplayed, as has the striking resemblance to Bimmers of old that the 1 Series boasted.

What will these bright little Bimmers run you? The 228i will start at $33,025. The M235i base price jumps to $44,025.

Yes, final price tags on the 2 Series will easily push into the realm of the 3 Series, when loaded up. While you will be getting less car than the 3, the 2 will offer much more spritely driving dynamics.

Let’s put it this way: the 3 Series is for a sporting, gentlemanly family man named Kevin who has a couple kids. The 2 Series is for guys named Chaz who got a vasectomy at 23. See what I’m getting at?

We’ll have a deep delve into the first-ever 2 Series soon so be sure to check back. In the meantime, though, you might want to – just in case – call and schedule the ol’ snip with your urologist.