Uwe Boll Announces Five Bouts with Critics

We couldn't pass this by: uber-schlock-meister/filmmaker Uwe Boll has partnered with Golden Palace for five bouts in which Boll will literally fight critics of his films.

Since 1994, German filmmaker Uwe Boll has managed to craft himself a reputation as the Ed Wood of his generation, producing and directing films—often based on video games—which are often considered so bad as to be unwatchable. (And no, we don’t mean “so bad they’re good,” we just mean “bad.”) Boll’s films make it to a few theaters, but just barely, and yet Boll keeps getting rights to scripts and properties and churns out opus after opus thanks to a provision in German tax law that rewards investments in Germany’s film industry. Investors get to write of the entirety of film investments as a tax deduction, and even invest borrowed money and write off financing fees. If the movie makes money, investors pay taxes on the profits; if the movie loses money…writeoff.

As you might expect, Boll’s movies—including his adaptations of games like House of the Dead,Alone in the Dark, and BloodRayne—don’t earn profits. But so long as the law stands, Boll has no lack of German investors. In the meantime, movie and game fans who aren’t simply ignoring Boll have actually bonded together to petition Boll to stop making films; others take delight in targeting Boll with vitriol and, it seems, often justified criticisms of his cinematic oeuvre. (Don’t believe me? Consider Lucius Shepard’s take on the Master of Error.)

Now, Uwe Boll is out to silence his critics—or at least pound them senseless. Boll has teamed up with Vancouver’s online casino GoldenPalace.com to stage GoldenPalace.com Presents Raging Boll, a series of five bouts in which Boll will literally go three rounds with his critics. And Boll is still accepting challenges: if you think you’ve got a shot in the ring against a German filmmaker and can write a blog, we say go for it. It might be your chance to stop Boll from savaging your favorite game title.

Boll’s first opponent is Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello from Madrid, Spain. Webmaster of http://www.cinecutre.com—this bout will take place in Malaga, Spain in early September. Other contenders are Something Awful’s Richard “Lowtax” Kyanka, Ain’t It Cool News‘ Jeff Sneider, Rue Morgue’s Chris Alexander, and Website critic Nelson Chance Minter from Fredrick, Maryland; these bouts are planned to take place in Vancouver, British Columbia, on September 23, 2006. And here’s the best part: the bouts will be filmed as part of Boll’s current work-in-progress, Postal.