Here’s five ways you can use your appliances for things they weren’t intended for. Because, anarchy.
Cook salmon in your dishwasher
If you’re asking yourself why the hell would I use the dishwasher when i’ve got a perfectly good oven? then you were clearly the kid who colored inside the lines in grade school, and you’re doomed to living a long, safe, and incredibly boring life. However, if you didn’t think that, and you like to live on the wild side, you can enjoy a delicious dishwasher-cooked salmon by following these simple steps. First, wrap your raw salmon fillet in two layers of tinfoil, and make sure it’s tightly sealed. A vacuum-sealed plastic bag will also do the trick. Second, place that badboy on the top rack, close it up, and set your dishwasher on its normal cycle. Oh, and don’t use detergent. Provided your dishwasher doesn’t suck, the water should be hot enough to thoroughly cook the fish over the course of the wash cycle.
Disinfect sponges in the microwave
You know that sponge sitting just north of your kitchen sink? The one you clean your dishes with? Yeah, it’s probably full of bacteria. But not to worry – you know what kills bacteria really, really well? Radiation. And if you’re lucky enough to have a microwave in your kitchen, you just so happen to have your very own radiation chamber. Just pop the sponge in there while it’s still damp, set the timer for a minute or two, and let the bacterial genocide commence. Careful though – if you’ve got a particularly nasty sponge, this process might stink up your kitchen pretty bad. Use discretion and just get a new sponge if the one you’re about to use is too gross.
Remove crayon marks with a blowdryer
Let’s be honest here, your kid’s drawings suck pretty bad on paper, but they suck even worse when they’re directly on your walls. When your little pint-sized Picasso decides to leave his latest fresco on the entire south side of your living room, don’t reach for your belt – reach for a blowdryer and a roll of paper towels. So long as that artsy little terror used crayons instead of sharpies or sacrificial animal blood, you should be able to get his work cleaned off pretty easily. Crayons are just a specific kind of wax, so a bit of heat from a blowdryer — quickly followed by a paper towel wipe down — should help remove the marks. If it doesn’t get them off completely, snag yourself a sponge and some mild dish soap.
Make hashbrowns, brownies, and burgers in a waffle iron
The waffle iron is like the George Foreman Grill’s less-famous, but more-talented little brother. It might not be as conveniently-shaped as good ol’ GF, but it’s basically the same idea. Shred up some potatoes and pop them inside to make perfectly-crispy hashbrowns, or dump in some brownie batter for quick waffle-shaped brownies that cook up in a fraction of the time. You can also use it for poor-man’s paninis, ghetto grilled cheese, and food-stamp french toast. Oh, and these things make pretty good waffles too.
Quickly shred cooked meat with a stand mixer
For some reason, shredded meat is the best kind of meat. It’s like cheese – when it’s in a big chunk you could care less about it, but if there’s a pile of it shredded on the kitchen counter, you can’t stop yourself from pinching up a bite. The only problem is that shredding meat with a fork is forking tedious and time consuming. But that’s what we have machines for. If you’ve got a stand mixer handy, just toss in the meat after it’s been sufficiently cooked and watch as it’s quickly torn to shreds.
Know of any unconventional uses for common household appliances? Share them with us in the comments!