What requires straps, grim determination, and two consenting individuals? Sex in space, of course, which is a whole lot trickier than you’d think. As we continually make advances in the realm of space travel, we consider how the human race might one day thrive in a zero-gravity environment. Naturally, procreation is a very important consideration; one that has yet to be addressed. But thankfully, celebrity astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has lent his expertise to the subject, noting, “You need things like straps” in order to have a successful romp in the hay when you’re away from planet Earth.
“Everything is different when you are having sex in a weightless environment,” Tyson explained. And seeing as we already have whiskey glasses that allow you to get buzzed and set the mood miles above our atmosphere, we’re clearly ready to have conversations on how to fornicate when you and your partner are adrift.
Tyson notes the problem with potential foreplay, including bouncing off your partner when trying to get close. While this does occur to some of us on Earth, it is usually for entirely different reasons.
So what’s the solution? “Bring a lot of leather belts. Keep things strapped down and you’ll be just fine,” the space sexpert said. And for added punch, he joked, “There are probably some people who are fully equipped with this anyway.”
Of course, none of NASA’s astronauts will be taking Tyson’s advice to heart anytime soon. The space agency has very strict rules about this sort of hanky panky while on the job, requiring that their employees maintain “professional standards” and “relationships of trust” whenever they’re in space. For the time being, Tyson’s sexy theoretical scenarios must be put aside.
So while there are no members of the million mile high club just yet, it may be something to consider much more seriously in the not so distant future. Start stocking up on straps, friends. Now you even have an excuse for them.
