Vi-Band hands-free head massager means no need for a girlfriend

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It’s been a long day, and you have a screaming headache. You want to rub your temples, but you’re tired and your arms feel heavy and cramp after like three seconds. But why should we have to rub our own temples in this day and age? We don’t. There’s a group of engineers out there ready to take care of that for us, and their campaign is up on Indiegogo.

If this company of engineers had an “As Seen on TV” commercial, it would start like this: “From the inventors of the Sleep Shepherd — the hat that helps you sleep — comes the Vi-Band, the headband massager!” It’s a hands-free head massager that vibrates over your temples and forehead, built into a simple headband. Yep, a hand’s free head massager that doesn’t look like you’re trying to bring back the real Quaid.

The Vi-Band creators, Joe, Matt, Ryan and Tucker — aka Mind Rocket — are actually a team of rocket scientists with a serious sense of humor and possibly no girlfriends, as indicated by their YouTube video. Also, Matt and Ryan are twins. Check out their pics if you doubt it.

Who wants to rely on a whisk, a girlfriend (we can be moody and our hands get tired too), a drunk, or a clubhound named Klauss to get a head massage? No one, that’s who. So Mind Rocket made the Vi-Band portable, affordable and rechargeable. Portable, because girlfriends, drunks, and weirdos from the club can be expensive to transport, and pointy metal contraptions don’t go over well with airport security. Affordable because relaxation shouldn’t be the exclusive domain of the wealthy; after the campaign is fully funded a Vi-Band will go for about $30. Rechargeable because, as the Vi-Band website says, “Your head’s comfort shouldn’t depend on a pink bunny with an affinity for percussion instruments.”

The Vi-Band is essentially a neoprene band with brushless vibration motors built into it over your head’s pressure points. You get a massage without begging anyone to do it for you, or annoying them and deafening yourself with electric buzzing. An integrated printed circuit board lets you select massage modes. The battery can be recharged via micro USB. Seems like the perfect accessory for long trips, to go with your curved neck pillow. Now you can actually sleep instead of just pretending you’re sleeping so the halitosis sufferer next to you won’t feel the need to speak in your direction.

Different band prints are set to be released as rewards every $5,000 — this writer is especially fond of the fictional ’80s dojo designs. The bands inspired by genetically modified and martial arts-trained reptile aren’t bad either, but would probably be better as massagers and sleep masks, since otherwise they make it look like you have eyes on your forehead.

Back the campaign to put in your two cents (or $2) on which designs they should manufacture. Since, as we’ve said, this isn’t the group’s first rodeo, we can expect Vi-Bands to ship on time if they hit their funding amount. Already over 65 percent and 22 days still to go.