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‘Help Sony President Name His Pink Balls,’ pleads Sony. Yeah, really

sony bluetooth ball speakers

Some headlines just write themselves. Last night, Sony published a blog post seeking the public’s opinion on what to name the orb-shaped Bluetooth speakers it unveiled at CES last month. Sensationalist as it is, the company decided it would be a smart idea to ask readers to help Sony’s president “name his pink audio balls.”

“I carry my pink balls with me wherever I go,” wrote the Sony U.S. President Phil Molyneux. “But in my 25 years with Sony, we’ve tended to drift away from some of the more clever and catchy product names like Walkman, for example … [but] a gadget that looks like this with the potential to get cheeky needs more.”

Great idea, Molyneux! Especially if you seek immature responses by your readers, which has currently rounded up more than 1,200 suggestions, including “Sony Play Ball,” “Toneticles,” and “Not Blue.” As a sidenote, these comments get moderated, so we’re sure the ones that didn’t make it on the site were probably a lot more inappropriate. It also doesn’t help for Molyneux to refer to the speakers as “pink balls” for the time being, especially since Urban Dictionary describes the term as a female version of blue balls. If it’s anything Sony wants associated with its product, it’s probably not sexual frustration or genitals.

But we digress. The Sony TesticleHairlessMatteBalls will be available in March for $70 apiece. They come in black and white versions, too, if you prefer those colors of balls.