In news that we’re sure that both kidnappers and hostages alike will be thrilled to hear; scented duct tape is finally a thing that exists in the world that you and I inhabit. Now, next time you need to toss somebody in the trunk of your car, you needn’t worry about that smelly gym bag in your trunk — just slap some cupcake-scented tape on your abductee’s mouth and they won’t even notice! Instead of muffled screams, your drive to the shipyard will be filled with audible sniffs and contented “mmm’s” emanating from behind the back seat.
Who’s to thank for such a glorious invention? Why, Duck brand, of course! Neon colors and silly patterns just weren’t enough for the company anymore, so earlier this month they unleashed not just one, but SIX different rolls of scented tape, each with a unique and appealing aroma. The company undoubtedly has plans to expand the lineup in the future, but the initial offering includes tape rolls imbued with such intoxicating fragrances as: bubblegum, grape, orange cream, lemon, mint, and of course, the aforementioned cupcake scent.
The tape is every bit as strong and durable as its non-scented cousin, meaning you can add an aromatic touch to all your future half-assed repair jobs with the same level of misguided confidence you’ve always had.
Forgot the tie-downs, but still need to secure the canoe to the roof of your SUV? Try a mixture of orange cream and lemon duct tape — all of the terrified people you pass on the freeway will immediately calm down when their olfactory receptors detect the light, citrusy bouquet you’ve left in your wake.
Broke your leg while hiking and need to make a splint out of duct tape? Go with a mint roll. The ER nurses will thank you when the cool breeze of menthol emanating from your leg overpowers the fetid smell of gangrene underneath.
Get your hands on a roll here, or just head to your local hardware store and hit the adhesives aisle.