Stephen Colbert finally took his seat at the new Late Show desk in the Ed Sullivan Theater last night, and his debut episode gave him an outlet for the deluge of Donald Trump jokes that have been building up inside him for the last few months. Although he did use Trump’s June campaign announcement to mock the brash politician and plug The Late Show, he’s mostly had to watch other comedians have all of the Trump fun. Understandably, moderation just wasn’t possible.
“Just like the rest of the media, I’ll be covering all of the presidential candidates … who are Donald Trump,” said Colbert during the episode. To kick off his coverage, he showed a clip of Trump vowing to never eat Oreos again, and then pulled out a package to use as a metaphor. Of course, he couldn’t help snacking on a cookie as he discussed the politician’s “anti-Oreo stance.” With one Oreo and one joke down, Colbert told the audience he’d stop there: “One is enough. That is the only Trump story I’ll be treating myself to tonight.”
It wasn’t enough. Colbert’s Oreo eating and Trump talk quickly spiraled, with “one more” quickly became another and another and still another. Not even throwing the package of cookies in his garbage can was enough for the host to restrain himself. He touched on Trump’s popularity with white supremacists, his plans for a wall between the U.S. and Mexico, and even his Oompa-Loompa tan.
After trying to be the person on television with the “modicum of dignity” needed to stop talking about Trump, Colbert caved in spectacular fashion, looking reminiscent of Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster. He ended up with Oreos all over him and a fresh package in hand. “I think I’m going to hate myself in the morning,” he lamented, peeling open the second round of Oreos.
Fans seemed to like what they saw on the premiere of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. According to THR, the show averaged 6.55 million viewers during its broadcast — more than The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel Live!, which average 2.92 and 1.75 million viewers, combined.