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Donald Trump’s ridiculous antics temporarily force Letterman out of retirement

Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump is producing outlandish/offensive soundbites at such an extraordinary rate that political satirists everywhere are pinching themselves, unable to believe their luck. Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Fallon and a host of others have jumped in on the smorgasbord, but one recently-retired comedian had the misfortune of exiting stage right just before all the fun started.

As such, one Mr. David Letterman just couldn’t resist hurling a few barbs at one of his favorite dartboards. The former Late Show host took the stage this past Friday at the Majestic Theatre in San Antonio during a show that featured two of his comedic compadres: Steve Martin and Martin Short, and everyone in attendance seemed to know what was coming.

Related: Trump’s run for President is the best prop for late-night comedy since Sarah Palin

Fans were excited enough to see Letterman in public — “I am so happy to be out of the house” quipped the comedian — but things reached a fever pitch when he patted his pockets and then whipped out a freshly-minted top-ten list targeting you know who, carrying the title “Interesting facts about Donald Trump.”

The list started with a bang: 10.) “That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack.

Other highlights included:

5.) “Donald Trump weighs 240 lbs., 250 with cologne.”

3.) “If president — instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving — he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving.

2.) “Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans he’s starring in a new movie entitled ‘No Amigos.’”

Number Two is, of course, a nod to the other two men on stage with Letterman, who starred alongside Chevy Chase in the comedy classic Three Amigos (1986). We’ll leave Number One for you to discover yourself.

While the antics were a welcome callback to Letterman’s iconic run in late night TV, this is probably not the start of a comeback for the veteran funny man, age 68. but if Trump sticks around as a candidate, maybe he will continue to pop up here and there. You can check out the full list in the embedded video above. The list starts around the 5:00 mark.

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