5. A full battery charge barely lasts the day.
After brushing your teeth and washing your face, your last ritual before bed is plugging in that smartphone. Because if you don’t, there’s no way that sucker’s lasting another full day after the workout you gave it today. We’ll admit that the battery life on some modern smartphones is pretty dismal, but if you’re downing a full charge day after day, you might need to lay off the juice.
4. You broke it, and it feels like you lost a friend.
In a moment of clumsiness, you went to remove it from your pocket for the 37th time in the last hour, slipped, and sent it pinwheeling toward pavement, where it landed with a sickening crack. Or, in a moment of carelessness, you let it slip out of your pocket on the train, waiting to be snatched up by some hawkeyed bum. Even worse, in a less-than-sober moment, you dropped it into a fountain (which is not a urinal, by the way). Whatever the circumstances, you can’t stop replaying the event in your mind, running over its irreplaceable digital contents in your mind, and kicking yourself for letting it happen. Maybe you even have dreams about a reunion with your long-lost friend. Er, phone. When the symptoms start to border post-traumatic stress disorder, it’s time to move on.
3. When you meet people with the same phone, you can only talk about the phone.
“You have an iPhone too? Oh awesome, have you tried the PDXBus app yet? Yea, this case is pretty cool, but I’m getting this metallic one soon that’s even slimmer.”
If this sounds at all like a conversation you might have upon meeting someone with the same smartphone, you should reconsider your smartphone addiction and your social life.
2. You feel a brief moment of panic when you touch your pocket (or grope to the bottom of your purse) and it’s gone.
We’re not talking about a lost phone here, just realizing you left it at home. And feeling the skipped heartbeat of sheer terror.
“What if people try to call me?”
“What if I can’t find the nearest Starbucks without asking someone?”
“What will my Twitter followers think?”
Take a deep breath before you need an iDefibrillator app and forge on without your faithful digital assistant. Life will be OK.
1. You use it in the bathroom.
This is just wrong. But not for hygienic reasons as you all suspect. If you’re using your smartphone on the can, you’ve just robbed yourself of your last refuge from interruption. You’ve tainted mankind’s last fortress of solitude by draggeing the entire equivalent of a computer into the equation. Can’t you live five minutes without e-mail? Really?
Showing 36 comments
RSSplz reply.....
addiction to thraash metal?
With all the conviction of FRAUD in France, the numerous lawsuits from former members, some suicides, a recent MURDER of an employee by a high level $cientology REVEREND William "Rex" Fowler, and so much other bad press against them, I guess they feel like it's all they can do to try and keep their silly little "stats" up.
What a Sad and Pathetic nasty little CULT.