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This week’s top 10 dumbest online drug dealers

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We’re never wanting for stories about idiots who use the Web for extra-curriculars like drug dealing and seeking, but there’s been a particularly spectacular rash of them lately. It should go without saying that should you choose to indulge in this sort of activity, keep it on the D.L., friends. And if you aren’t one for subtlety… well then you might end up in a future slideshow. Here in all their glory are this week’s dumbest online pill peddlers. 

 

#1. Katia has no qualms about advertising her apparently booming drug business of Facebook. Notice that after she promotes her wide variety of prescription drugs and steroids, she subtly slips in the fact that she has other “hard drugs” available. It’s like she doesn’t even realize that what she’s doing is a straight up felony and that anyone who does a cursory Facebook search for drugs can find her solicitations in under a minute.

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#2. Just in case you didn’t believe Katia’s exuberant status update, she posts tons of pictures of the drugs she has for sale. Somewhere, a police officer is salivating.

#3. Why bother downloading the Tor network and logging onto the Silk Road’s encrypted website when you can just go on Facebook and find a virtual medicine cabinet for sale? Oh yeah, because it’s easily traceable and makes it supremely easy to track you down. It’s kind of hard to believe that this photo comes from a “reliable business person specialized in the sale of hard drugs” when they’re posting about it publicly on Facebook. I’m also confused about how they manufacture weed.

#4. This mechanic who doesn’t understand how the Internet works saw his tweet go viral after the local police replied to it. One person who didn’t find it funny: the boss at Mr. Lube, who fired this dopey employee.

#5. Avensina Pharmacy, selling Ketamine on Facebook like it ain’t no thang. But not to be outdone, a page called “Drug Gist” wants Facebook to know that they, too, sell Special K.

#6. And as it turns out, Drug Gist has a lot more than ketamine for sale. I hope they know that being an idiot isn’t a valid excuse for not knowing it’s illegal to sell drugs on Facebook.

#7. It’s like shooting really dumb fish in a barrel. A barrel that everyone can see, because it’s one of the most popular websites in the world. I am suspicious of the claim that they ship to ALL countries, too. Really? What about remote Somalia? You can really get MDMA to North Korea?

#8. Google Translate tells me this Twitter account links back to a Craigslist-esque online market in Spain. But apparently this one has a MUCH more relaxed policy on selling drugs… and allowing people located in the US and UK to sell them through their website.

#9. THIS IS NOT LEGAL!

#10. In case you’re wondering, there are over 200 photos tagged #drugsforsale on Instagram. This photo is pretty representative of how incriminating they are. The guy who runs this account lists his phone number and also sells cough syrup, and I’m not entirely sure whether recklessness or sheer idiocy drives him. 

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Kate Knibbs
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