OK, so that’s not actually happening, but ScreenCrush is reporting that Bruce Willis and Mark-Paul Gosselaar will star opposite one another in a good old-fashioned heist movie, and the awesomely corny and convoluted trailer for the film (above) just hit the Internets.
Dubbed Precious Cargo, this pretty much seems like a pastiche of every ’90s action flick you’ve ever seen. Kitschy one-liners? Check. Over-the-top chases and shootouts? Check. Cellphones with antennae? Bizarrely enough … check (0:04). To coin a phrase from the decade in question, here’s the official 4-1-1 on the film:
“After a botched heist, Eddie (Bruce Willis), a murderous crime boss, hunts down the seductive thief Karen (Claire Forlani) who failed him. In order to win back Eddie’s trust, Karen recruits her ex-lover and premier thief Jack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) to steal a cargo of rare precious gems. But when the job goes down, allegiances are betrayed and lines are crossed as Jack, Karen, and Eddie face off in a fateful showdown.”
Max Adams — who worked as a camera assistant on HBO’s Boardwalk Empire and penned the Bruce Willis-starring Extraction — will helm the film, which represents his directorial debut. John Brotherton (Furious 7), Lydia Hull (Broken City), and Daniel Bernhardt (John Wick) round out the cast.
While this might sound like a shoe-in for membership in the dubious straight-to-VOD (formerly straight-to-DVD) club, this film will actually debut on the big screen — and soon for that matter.
Precious Cargo hits theaters on April 22, 2016, and if you’re a fan of mindless-but-fun action flicks, this might be worth a trip to the movies.
