Worst app of the week: iFart Mobile makes flatulence cost you

iFart Mobile

We can all pretend that we’re sophisticated people with refined taste and a high brow sense of humor but let’s face it: there is just something undeniably funny about a well timed fart. It’s a totally natural occurrence that often happens with little say from the body it comes out of. But it makes a funny sound and we’re told that we should be embarrassed by it so how does one not laugh when a big of gas squeaks out? What is considerably less funny is excessive fart noises. Repetition is a powerful tool in comedy. It is an equally powerful tool in annoyance. While a single fart has the highest comedic value, iFart Mobile takes the diminishing returns of each subsequent fart and charges you for it.

iFart2We have all heard people refer to different sounding farts in different ways. There is an entire website dedicated to the different types of farts there are (the site is presented by Dumb.com, which is probably worth noting). This concept, that gas sounds different coming out of people’s body and those noises are always funny, is the premise behind iFart Mobile. But it’s not the only fart machine-style app around, so how do you know if iFart Mobile is the right fart app for you? Perhaps you’ve run out of Larry the Cable Guy stand up specials to watch and you need to give yourself a quick laugh. Or maybe you’re out with friends and you think to yourself, “These people respect me way too much.” You are right within the iFart Mobile demographic.

It has the market on genre-specific farts cornered. No one produces flatulent noises quite like the professional wind-breaking composers on iFart Mobile’s team. Thanks to these uniquely skilled gastrointestinal experts, iFart Mobile can charge a premium for it’s content. It knows its customers won’t be satisfied with just the 30 fart sounds – because how could you? – that come included with your original $1 purchase. No, you’ll be so hooked by the finely tuned toots like “Laundry Day” or “Brown Mosquito” that you’ll just have to get the add-ons as well. There’s the food related ones, which are pretty much as you’d expect, but how about the Movie Fart Pack? How have you lived your entire life thus far without hearing the stylized gas tones like “Fart Trek,” “Harry Pooter,” or “Good Will Grunting” (Which, we assume, farts the answer to math equations?). If you want to know for sure, though, you’ll have to pay another $1 for sounds that are usually free. If you’re still left wanting more, you can record your own farts, a feature responsible for creating the saddest Friday night you can imagine.

iFariFart Mobile is a silent-but-deadly app that wants to be heard. That’s why it’s branched out its feature list to let you add farts to almost every part of your day. Need an alarm to wake up in the morning? There’s no better way to wake up than to a sound that makes you think there is a human bottom right in your face. Better yet, maybe you want a flatulance sound to go off if someone steals your mobile device? No person would be brave enough to jack a gassy iPhone.

You can even set up timed gas noises for when you know, say, thirty seconds from now, you’re definitely going to need a faux fart. And there’s no real point to a fart with no extra ears to hear it, so send some social farts to your friends. And when all of your friends start blocking you, you can hop on the Farting Social Network in iFart Mobile and talk to people with existences just as sad as your own.

Farts are a cheap form of entertainment in two ways: they’re an easy joke that plays upon our inherit enjoyment in bodily functions, and secondly, farts are entirely free. iFart Mobile takes away both of those positive qualities by removing the shame that comes with unwanted gas and by adding a price tag to the sounds.

Do yourself a favor: Take the $3 you would have to blow to get this app and instead head down to your local Mexican restaurant. Get yourself a nice burrito. An hour later, you won’t need an app to fart for you.

Smart Home

OK Google, what else can you do? The best tips and tricks for Google Home

The Home functions in a similar fashion to its main competitor, the Amazon Echo, but has the added benefit of select Google services. Here are few tips to help you make the most of the newfangled device.
Computing

Protecting your PDF with a password isn't difficult. Just follow these steps

If you need to learn how to password protect a PDF, you have come to the right place. This guide will walk you through the process of protecting your documents step-by-step, whether you're running a MacOS or Windows machine.
Smart Home

Your office is a mess, and it’s making Marie Kondo cry. Here’s how to tidy it up

Here's how to "Marie Kondo" your office. If you've been inspired to remove clutter and create a minimalistic workspace that makes you happy and helps you focus on what matters, then we have ideas that you'll want to try.
Movies & TV

The best shows on Netflix, from 'Haunting of Hill House’ to ‘Norsemen’

Looking for a new show to binge? Lucky for you, we've curated a list of the best shows on Netflix, whether you're a fan of outlandish anime, dramatic period pieces, or shows that leave you questioning what lies beyond.
Mobile

Samsung Galaxy S10 vs. S10 Plus vs. S10e vs. S10 5G: Which should you buy?

With four stunning Galaxy S10 phones to choose from, Samsung is bombarding us with choice, but which one should you buy? We compare the S10, S10 Plus, S10e, and S10 5G in various categories to find out exactly how they differ.
Wearables

Samsung's new Galaxy Watch Active can track your blood pressure

Looking for a new fitness buddy? Samsung just launched the Galaxy Watch Active and the Galaxy Fit, two new wearables with a raft of fitness-focused features that'll keep you moving and get you down the gym.
Mobile

Adobe Premiere Rush CC is coming to the Samsung Galaxy S10 this year

The Samsung Galaxy S10 boasts a number of hardware improvements over previous Samsung phones, but it also offers a few software improvements too. Adobe Premiere Rush CC, for example, is coming to the Samsung Galaxy S10 later this year.
Gaming

Samsung Galaxy S10 optimizations make it great for Fortnite

Samsung's new line of Galaxy S10 devices have been optimized for gaming. All three offer improved support for the Unity engine and the S10 Plus also offers vapor chamber cooling, similar to the Xbox One X.
Mobile

From folding phones to 5G -- here's everything we saw at Galaxy Unpacked

Samsung's Galaxy Unpacked event treated us to a real parade of technological excellence, from folding phones to new fitness wearables. Here's everything we saw at Galaxy Unpacked on February 20.
Mobile

Google’s radical Gmail redesign is finally rolling out on Android

Google is slowly but surely giving its apps a refresh, modernizing them and ensuring that they're easy to use. The latest app to get a redesign is the Gmail app for Android, which has been redesigned with a few tweaks.
Mobile

The best Samsung Galaxy S10 Plus cases to protect your $1,000 phone

Can't get enough of big phones? The Samsung Galaxy S10 Plus is absolutely up your alley. But it's still fragile, and damage is easily gathered through normal life. Protect it with the best Galaxy S10 Plus cases.
Mobile

Samsung Galaxy S10 vs. Galaxy S9: How much better is Samsung’s new flagship?

You'd naturally expect the Samsung Galaxy S10 to be better than last year's S9, but just how do the two phones differ? We break down the specs and compare Samsung's flagships in various categories to pick a winner.
Product Review

The Galaxy Watch Active is the right size for you, no matter how big or small your wrist is

Launched among a massive array of other new products, the Samsung Galaxy Watch Active could easily have been missed at Galaxy Unpacked 2019 -- which would be unfortunate. This is a sensibly designed, correctly sized smartwatch suitable for…
Mobile

Protect and style your Samsung Galaxy S10 with the best cases and covers

If you've splashed the cash for a shiny new Samsung Galaxy S10, then you'll want to take steps to protect your investment. With a metal frame and glass curves, the S10 needs some cover. Check out the best Samsung Galaxy S10 cases.