The sketch begins with Koechner cuddled on the couch with his wife, questioning why they can’t just cancel all those channels and stick with the five they actually watch. “Cable doesn’t work that way,” she declares. Cue to ominous music.
Related: Charter Cable may follow Verizon with slimmed down bundles, offer Netflix direct
Then, Koechner floats into a hilarious look at what life might be like if everything worked in the same way as traditional cable, from zero chance at actually getting a single scoop of ice cream, to having to stop at every floor in a building on the elevator before getting to you desired destination. But what really sets Koechner off is the $600+ bill from the parking attendant. Because, of course, you can’t just pay for the spot you used — you’ve gotta get the whole lot, including a premium for the handicapped spots. Frustrated, he hands over the cash, only to be stuck because the gate won’t open. “Don’t worry,” declares the young attendant. “We just have to call a guy. He’ll be here between noon and 6.”
It’s, of course, an extreme look at the situation. But the comparisons do shed light on perhaps why traditional linear TV is getting clobbered by more progressive streaming options, like Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, as well as new linear alternatives like Sling TV, which host live action channels, and let you choose from a much smaller (and more affordable) package.
Luckily, traditional cable providers are recognizing the archaic model they employ, and adapting with offerings like Verizon’s new “skinny” bundles for the company’s FiOS service, which includes a more bare bones core channel pack for a nominal price, along with smaller packs of additional channels you might want. It seems that the new era of digital online programing is finally getting big cable/satellite to wake up. But is it too late?
Have a look at the video above to see the hilarious interpretation for yourself, and it might just inspire a few more comparisons of your own.
