Unemployed Charlie Sheen seeks #winning social media intern with #tigerblood

In the latest sign of the coming apocalypse, “unemployed” actor Charlie Sheen has announced via Twitter that he is “looking to hire a “#winning social media intern with #TigerBlood.” That lucky someone will help him keep his more than 2 million new followers up-to-date — and likely be asked to hide the body of at least one dead hooker.

Fortunately, it’s a paid position — for both the intern and Sheen. The entire convoluted idea is part of a deal between Sheen and Internships.com, which is managing the application process (and getting a winning dose of publicity by proxy).

Here’s the full ad via Internships.com:

Do you have #TigerBlood? Are you all about #Winning? Can you #PlanBetter than anyone else? If so, we want you on #TeamSheen as our social media #TigerBloodIntern!

This unique internship opportunity will allow a hard-working, self-motivated, creative, resourceful and social media savvy individual to work closely with Charlie Sheen in leveraging his social network. The internship will focus on executing a social media strategy that will build on the success Charlie Sheen has attained in setting the Guinness World Record for the fastest time to reach one million followers on Twitter. The #TigerBloodIntern is expected to be proactive, monitor the day-to-day activities on the major social media platforms, prepare for exciting online projects and increase Charlie’s base of followers.

You will learn how to promote and develop the social media network of Hollywood’s most trending celebrity.

Of course, it’s difficult to imagine anyone doing a better job of building “Charlie’s base of followers” than Mr. Tigerblood himself. Sheen snagged the Guinness-certified world record last week for fastest time to break 1 million followers on Twitter — he did so in 25 hours and 17 minutes. In less than a week, that number has more than doubled. (He clocked-in at over 2.2 million at the time of this writing.)

Riding on his Mavericks-sized Twitter wave, Sheen launched his web-show, “Sheen’s Korner” on Ustream this weekend, which hasn’t exactly been well-received.

“Sheen’s Korner” isn’t the only blemish on Sheen’s otherwise winning record, however, as Warner Bros. announced yesterday that he has been fired from the cast of his hit comedy show “Two and a Half Men.” This proceeds a temporary hold on production after Sheen lambasted the show’s creator, Chuck Lorre, in a variety of highly-public interviews.

Sheen’s meteoric rise in Internet popularity (the most fickle form of popularity, btw) began after the actor was rushed to the hospital — for a hernia — following a “wild” party allegedly fueled by Tony Montana-levels of cocaine and the glittery flesh of at least five porn stars. He then spewed a series of high-octane rants during which he declared himself a “total bitchin’ rock star from Mars,” and landed more publicity than even someone who made an industry-topping $2 million-per-episode could buy.

Then came Twitter, which he joined on March 1. Funny enough, that’s the same day the police removed his twin sons, 2-year-olds Bob and Max, from Sheen’s home because he had allegedly threatened their mother, Brooke Mueller, with violence.

So to all you brave men and certifiably insane women who want to get in on the hell-train that is Charlie Sheen — and we know there are a staggering number of you — feel free to apply here. The deadline is March 11. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.