The 11 best Ken Jennings Reddit AMA quotes

ken-jenningsSo it turns out that 74-time “Jeopardy!” champion Ken Jennings is ridiculously hilarious. He may have recently lost at “Jeopardy!” to IBM supercomputer Watson, but Jennings firmly secured his place as the world’s greatest geek yesterday by posting an “Ask Me Anything” (AMA) interview to Reddit.com. Thousands of questions from Reddit users poured in, and Jennings (aka “WatsonsBitch”) answered as many as super-humanly possible. Here are 11 of Jennings’ most awesome answers:

1. On his Reddit username, “WatsonsBitch”:

“Lots of people think it’s a Jeopardy reference, but actually I was thinking of that time Watson and I were cellmates in prison, and it kept raping me.”

2. On using marijuana:

“Never been high — except on a drug called Ken Jennings! (Warning, Ken Jennings may cause drowsiness, nausea, ‘housemaid’s knee,’ night blindness, paralysis, or death. Ask your doctor if Ken Jennings is right for you.)”

3. On being a highly logical person of Mormon faith:

“I thought this might come up. Normally I would think you were a jackass for telling a stranger ‘Hey, your religion sucks!’ but luckily this is an AMA, so all courtesy bets are off.

“It’s true that, from a rationalistic point of view, Mormonism has plenty that is crazy-seeming about it, but then again, so do all religions. To me–even me, a guy who tends toward sensible, naturalistic explanations for things!–that is what gives religion its charm. All I know is that my faith makes me happy and makes me a much better person.

“That doesn’t mean I agree with everything all Mormons do (for example: the ‘Soldier of Love’ video by Donny Osmond) or even everything the institutional church has done. People are flawed. But in general, Mormons are salt-of-the-earth when the chips are down. They have your back. Even the South Park guys know that.”

4. On the discrimination of homosexuality in Mormonism:

“Fair point; see ‘I don’t agree with everything all Mormons do’ above. Personally, I am all about the gays.”

5. On proving he’s not replicant:

“Nice try! You can’t win 74 straight Jeopardy games without also learning how to pass the Voight-Kampff. Nexus-6 babeeee.”

6. On how his life has changed most since becoming a Jeopardy! superstar:

“Old people can’t keep their dry, lilac-scented hands off me. Man, do old people ever love Jeopardy. I can’t go anywhere in public
where there might be old people, like Hallmark stores or cemeteries.”

7. On whether or not he hired writers to make his AMA so hilarious:

“Bruce Vilanch is hiding under my desk right now. Unfortunately he’s not writing jokes for me, if you know what I mean.”

8. On what he’s bad at:

“I can’t sing. I’ve never beaten my wife at bowling. I have the same $8 haircut I had when I was five.”

9. On “Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek, in poetry:

“There once was a host named Trebek, Whose mustache was sexy as heck. It would have been weird If he’d grown a big beard, Like Conan, or Riker on Trek.”

10. On how to prepare for a go on “Jeopardy!”:

“Congrats! You will be joining an elite club of virgins.

“Preparation: my book Brainiac is okay for that, but Bob Harris’s book Prisoner of Trebekistan is better. (Mine is less Jeopardy-centric.) Mike Dupee’s out of print How To Get on Jeopardy…and Win is best of all. But I think the title might be a little on-the-nose, don’t you?

“Read The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy. Know world capitals. Know US presidents and their dates. Remember: by the odds, most first-timers lose, so be determined to have fun no matter what. You will also play better that way.

“Don’t wear a sweater, you will look like a tool.”

11. On weird Mormon trivia:

“1. Christian Aguilera was born Mormon. Not our finest effort.

“2. The original proposed name for Utah, ‘Deseret,’ isn’t related to “desert.” It’s a Book of Mormon word (and therefore etymologically iffy to nonbelievers) meaning ‘honeybee.’

“3. Mormon congregations are called ‘wards,’ and dioceses are called ‘stakes.’ Some of our houses of worship used to therefore be called “stake houses,” but this turned out to be too confusing. (Especially because there was no salad bar.)

“4. Mormon scripture strongly implies that the apostle John, as well as three Book of Mormon disciples, never actually died but are still kicking around someplace. Awesomely, this leads some Mormons to repeat urban legends about ‘the three Nephites’ miraculously appearing to help little old ladies, repair the cars of stranded travelers, etc.

“5. My Sunday school teacher, when I was a Mormon teen, once memorably advised us that ‘There’s nothing more overrated than sex, and nothing more underrated than a good bowel movement.’ It totally worked…I don’t remember a single other sermon from when I was a kid, but I think about this guy exactly once a day, and then again once a week.”

In addition to being the longest-running champion on “Jeopardy!,” Jennings is also the author of three books, Brainiac, Ken Jennings’s Trivia Almanac and Maphead. To get more Jennings, you can follow him on Twitter, or check out his website, Ken-Jennings.com. (/Jennings love-fest)

Music

From Jay Rock to Saba, these are the 50 best albums of 2018

We've spent the year listening to new albums, digging deep, and culling our master list into 50 favorites. From blockbuster releases to hidden gems, these are the best albums of 2018.
Gaming

Spawn creator suggests the antihero could appear in ‘Mortal Kombat 11’

Spawn creator Todd McFarlane hinted that the comic book antihero could join the cast of Mortal Kombat 11 during a Reddit AMA. Spawn previously appeared in SoulCalibur II on the original Xbox.
Gaming

These are the best video games you shouldn't leave 2018 without

Developers showed up with a number of amazing games this year. Each capitalized on something unique but there's always one that outdoes them all. Here are our picks for the best video games of 2018 and game of the year.
Movies & TV

'Prime'-time TV: Here are the best shows on Amazon Prime right now

There's more to Amazon Prime than free two-day shipping, including access to a number of phenomenal shows at no extra cost. To make the sifting easier, here are our favorite shows currently streaming on Amazon Prime.
Computing

Latest Facebook bug exposed up to 6.8 million users’ private photos

An API bug recently left an impact on Facebook users. Though the issue has since been fixed, some of the apps on the platform had a wrongful access to consumers photos for 12 days between September 13 and September 25. 
Computing

You can now get a Surface Laptop 2 for $800 at the Microsoft Store

Along with deals on other variants, starting configurations of Microsoft's Surface Laptop 2 are now going for $800 online at its retail store, cutting $200 from its usual $1,000 starting price. 
Computing

You’ll soon be able to scribble all over PDFs on your Chromebook

Chrome OS users may soon be able to doodle all over their PDF documents with the possible addition of a new feature in Chrome OS' PDF viewer. The annotation feature is expected to allow users to hand draw or write over their documents.
Computing

Need a monitor for professional photo-editing? These are the very best

Looking for the best monitor for photo editing? You'll need to factor in brightness, color accuracy, color gamut support and more. Fortunately, we've rounded up the best ones for you, to help you make an educated purchase.
Computing

HDR monitors are beginning to have an impact. Here are the best you can buy

HDR isn't the most common of PC monitor features and is often charged at a premium, but the list of available options is growing. These are the best HDR monitors you can buy right now.
Virtual Reality

Oculus Rift vs. HTC Vive: Prices drop, but our favorite stays the same

The Oculus Rift and HTC Vive are the two big names in the virtual reality arena, but most people can only afford one. Our comparison tells you which is best when you pit the Oculus Rift vs. HTC Vive.
Computing

Microsoft’s Windows 95 throwback was just an ugly sweater giveaway

Microsoft's "softwear" announcement wasn't what we had hoped for. Thursday's announcement was not the new line of wearable tech or SkiFree monster sweater we wished for. But it did deliver the 90s nostalgia we wanted.
Home Theater

Confused about LED vs. LCD TVs? Here's everything you need to know

Our LED vs. LCD TV buying guide explains why these two common types of displays are fundamentally connected, how they differ, what to look for in buying an LED TV, and what's on the horizon for TVs.
Computing

Canada’s winters inspired a startup to warm homes with cryptomining heat waste

Cryptomining may be the key to untold riches and the future of currency, but it’s also an environmental nightmare. Heatmine, thinks it has the answer, but it could mean bolting a mining rig onto every home and business in the country.
Deals

The best MacBook deals for December 2018

If you’re in the market for a new Apple laptop, let us make your work a little easier: We hunted down the best up-to-date MacBook deals available online right now from various retailers.