After yesterday’s iPhone announcements, there’s really only one question left to ask:
Do you want a gold iPhone – or do you want to smash a gold iPhone?
Just like that, Apple turned us into a people divided – the gold iPhone wanters and the gold iPhone haters. Does a gold iPhone put you in the same class as ItsLavishBitch? Or is it just a little, innocent bling? The jury is out and fighting about it on Twitter and Facebook, naturally.
Facebook hashtaggers (all seven of you out there!) are generally excited about the lavish iPhone:
Twitter is home to more derision, and a “dialogue” between the gold iPhone (potential) haves and have-nots is raging. However, there’s ample fun being made at the gold iPhone’s expense.
If anything a gold iPhone will let me know exactly who I do not need to associate with in life.
— Creative Rants (@Creative_Rants) September 2, 2013
This is the type of person who would use a gold iPhone. pic.twitter.com/rtqW3MkAfd
— Stay Puft (@StayPuft) September 10, 2013
I approach attractive woman at bar. She pulls out gold iPhone. I literally pirouette and run away CUZ I AIN’T GOT TIME FOR NO DRAMA
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) September 10, 2013
I don’t want to step on your house. But if you use a gold iPhone, I’m gonna have to step on your house.
— Stay Puft (@StayPuft) September 10, 2013
The new Gold iPhone is targeted at that “Gaddaffi/Mosman Mum” Market
— Dan Ilic (@danilic) September 10, 2013
The gold iPhone 5S might as well come with a bedazzled case, a Pumpkin Spice Latte, and a pair of UGGs.
— KBO (@KYBlackoutTFM) September 10, 2013
The new Gold iPhone is targeted at that “Gaddaffi/Mosman Mum” Market
— Dan Ilic (@danilic) September 10, 2013
the year will soon be 2014 and every white girl on the planet will have a gold iphone 5s
— Jack (@thats0jack) September 10, 2013
There’s also some Gollum-level, “my preciousssss!”-mongerers out there. This premature obsession is concerning. No, that’s putting it lightly – there’s serial killer level talk going on here.
Apple done fucked up having a Gold iPhone color… That phone shall be mine.
— Brian G (@Beezy_09) September 10, 2013
If my mum doesn’t get me a gold iPhone 5s for Christmas I will chop all my limbs off, in front of her, then shit in the front room
— Emily Chick (@EmilyChickxxo) September 10, 2013
I’ll sell a lung to get the gold iphone omg
— A ★ (@itslyss_bitch) September 10, 2013
I would kill for that gold iPhone
— Margaret Gallagher (@MMGallagher3) September 10, 2013
Also, some bigotry!
Better not see any dudes w that gold iPhone lol. Shit looks hella feminine.
— elias (@BreauxGod) September 10, 2013
the gold iphone looks so rich and classy but i feel like all the white girls r gonna get it so im going to get that smoke color
— emily ayy (@larrynigtella) September 10, 2013
IM LAUGHING AT ALL THE FAGS THAT GET THE GOLD IPHONE 5S
— abuelo (@blackemoji) September 10, 2013
And a subtle reminder: If thou can’t afford rent/child support/groceries/etc, thou had better not have an effing gold iPhone.
spot out all the ratchets b/c they’ll have the gold iPhone the first day it’s out but their babies be lookin like a bag of dirt
— (@ohhdani) September 10, 2013
LADY I’VE GOT THREE JOBS NOW LEMME BUY MY NEW GOLD IPHONE.
— Sarah Marie (@staygo1dkid) September 10, 2013
Its about to be a lot of people stuntin w/ a gold iPhone…while riding public transportation. #Priorities
— Roy Wood Jr-Fry Cook (@roywoodjr) September 10, 2013
Look! Look what you’ve done to us, Apple! Are you a gold iPhone hater or did you already pre-order it? Either way, you’re probably wrong and everyone hates you.
