WTF, Internet? Why do Twitter’s ‘verified’ users get nice things and we don’t?

wtf internet why do twitters verified users get nice things and we dont twitter

There are two types of people in this world: The verified and the unverified. Those lucky souls Twitter chooses to bestow that little blue mark upon are on a whole other level than us normals; they are those of the paid-to-tweet variety, those called “social-media experts” who fought their way to 25,000+ followers, those whose fame lands their tweets in weekly “celebrities say the darndest things!” round ups.

Just face it: They are the specials, and our hilarious and insightful Twitter musings will go unnoticed in their shadows. Now Twitter is giving them yet more power: The ability to ignore the rest of us!

We’re like the ugly stepchildren Twitter has to love and shelter but only because the state says so.

“We’re be rolling out the ability for verified users to go to their Connect tab on the Web and toggle between mentions in three categories,” Twitter says. “All, filtered, and verified.”

“Selecting ‘Filtered’ will show mentions based on an algorithm we use to filter out spam, and choosing ‘Verified’ means they’ll only see mentions from other accounts.”

Twitter says this new feature is being rolled out to its favorite children because they’re involved in such a large number of conversations. Humblebrag much?. “Ooooh it’s just soooo hard being soooo popular! Help me Twitter, help me! Save me from my adoring masses!”

I’m no Twitter celebrity, but I would appreciate this feature, thanks for not asking, Twitter. My measly 1,751 followers spam the bejesus out of me, too. I’d love a tool that filters this out so I don’t waste time trying to decide if @hle0xor8er is a real person or if that link is B.S.

Unfortunately, I’m neither a celebrity nor a politician; I don’t own a ridiculously cute pet or tweet pictures of my unmentionables. I’m not smart enough to ever make that timely parody account first and try as I have might, my hilarious pieces of repartee with Twitter elite have never landed me a spot in any “the best responses to ___” listicles. Thus, I – like so many of you – am banished to the dark corners of Twitter.

We’re like the ugly stepchildren Twitter has to love and shelter but only because the state says so. We don’t get any special treatment; we get the hand-me-downs, months after The Verifieds have enjoyed wearing them out.

twitter verified headerHonestly, I don’t even want that little blue check mark anymore – I just want the same treatment! Tear down this wall, Mr. Costolo, and give me a filter so I can ignore spammers, too! Because honestly, I don’t have enough energy to care about getting 25,000 followers.

Furthermore – it’s the principle of the thing! (Why yes, I did just indignantly stand straight up, pointing my index finger for emphasis – which is what anyone is required to do when saying, “It’s the principle of the thing.”) Twitter is constantly selling itself as the public square, where everyone is welcome to participate,true democratic discussion in action!

Now there’s a caste system, because you just introduced a feature so that verified users can sit atop their towers and ignore our pleas for but 140 characters of their attention. Here’s an idea: If you don’t want your fans to have quick and easy text-based access to you … don’t get a Twitter account! Isn’t that the entire idea? Do celebrities and notable figures need a mass public communication tool so that they can talk to each other? Go use Google+, I swear, no one will find you guys.

The Verified can keep their special privileges and Twitter, it’s OK: You can, deep down, love them more. Fine, secretly give them little benefits (which I imagine are things like satin Twitter logo team jackets with their handles printed on the back and invitations to secret parties in Jack Dorsey’s underwater castle), but don’t publicly insult all of us by rolling out features to them first.

I will resort to whining: It’s just not faaaaaaaaair.

The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not reflect the beliefs of Digital Trends.

Mobile

Rekindled yet again, Nokia’s next-gen phones offer more than just nostalgia

HMD Global, a startup that designs and builds Nokia Android smartphones, wants to put the Nokia brand name back “where it belongs.” It helps that it’s made up of ex-Nokia employees. We go behind the scenes to see how HMD formed.
Smart Home

Idaho mother says her child’s light-up sippy cup exploded

After a mother filled a Nuby insulated light-up cup with milk, the cup allegedly exploded. The incident caused burns to the mother's hand and face and a stinging sensation in her lungs that required a trip to the hospital.
Movies & TV

Here's everything we know about 'John Wick: Chapter 3 -- Parabellum'

John Wick: Chapter 3 -- Parabellum, the third installment of the wildly successful action series that stars Keanu Reeves as a deadly assassin forced out of retirement, hits theaters in May 2019. Here's everything we know about it so far.
Movies & TV

From premiere date to footage: Here's all we have on 'Game of Thrones' season 8

With the eighth and final season looming, Game of Thrones fever has officially become a pandemic. Our list of all the relevant news and rumors will help make the wait more bearable, if you don't mind spoilers.
Social Media

No yolk! A photo of an egg has become the most-liked post on Instagram

Until this weekend, the most-liked post on Instagram was of Kylie Jenner's baby daughter, which has around 18 million likes. It's now been knocked off the top spot not by a stunning sunset or even a cute cat, but by an egg.
Social Media

Invite your friends — Facebook Events can now be shared to Stories

Facebook is testing a way to make plans with friends to attend an event -- through Stories. By sharing an event in Facebook Stories, users can message other friends interested in the event to make plans to attend together.
Social Media

A quick swipe will soon let you keep bingeing YouTube on mobile devices

The YouTube mobile app has a new, faster way to browse: Swiping. Once the update rolls out, users can swipe to go to the next (or previous) video in the recommended list, even while viewing in full screen.
Photography

Starting your very own vlog? Here are the best cameras to buy

Any camera that shoots video can be used to vlog, but a few models stand out from the crowd thanks to superior image quality, ergonomics, and usability. When it comes to putting your life on YouTube, here are the best cameras for the job.
Social Media

Twitter extends its new timeline feature to Android users

Twitter users with an Android device can now quickly switch between an algorithm-generated timeline and one that shows the most recent tweets first. The new feature landed for iPhone users last month.
Social Media

YouTube to crack down on dangerous stunts like the ‘Bird Box’ challenge

YouTube already bans content showing dangerous activities, but new rules published by the site go into greater detail regarding potentially harmful challenges and pranks, including certain blindfold- or laundry detergent-based stunts.
Social Media

Nearly 75 percent of U.S. users don’t realize Facebook tracks their interests

Did you know Facebook tracks your interests, including political and multicultural affiliations? According to a recent Pew study, 74 percent of adult users in the U.S. have no idea Facebook keeps a running list of your interests.
Mobile

It’s back! Here’s how to switch to Twitter’s reverse chronological feed

Twitter has finally brought back the reverse chronological feed, allowing you to see your feed based on the newest tweets, rather than using Twitter's algorithm that shows what it thinks you want to see. It's easy to switch.
Social Media

Nearly a million Facebook users followed these fake Russian accounts

Facebook purged two separate groups behind more than 500 fake accounts with Russian ties. One group had ties to Russian news agency Sputnik, while the other had behavior similar to the Internet Research Agency's midterm actions.
Social Media

Twitter suffers privacy scare as bug reveals tweets of protected accounts

If you set your Twitter account to private and you have an Android device, you'd better check your settings now. Twitter says it's just fixed a four-year-old bug that flipped the privacy switch to make the account public.