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The Issalexa is a smart toothbrush that’s like a mood ring for your mouth

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Who needs a therapist when you have a toothbrush? Here to levy just such a question is the new Issalexa, a new toothbrush that is here to solve all of your problems — dental hygiene-related and otherwise.

The latest product to come out of beauty tech brand Foreo, the Issalexa is a T-sonic electric toothbrush, but also a “lifestyle support intelligence” helper that will speak to its owner after analyzing his or her saliva. Because not only is your saliva good for breaking down food, but its chemical makeup can also inform this smart toothbrush of what “emotional and life support you need for the day, or before going to bed.”

Over the course of five months, the Foreo team conducted clinical trials with more than 100 people, and somehow determined that “the mouth is the window to the body.” And here we were thinking that the eyes filled that purpose (or was that to the soul?). In any case, the Issalexa claims to detect abnormalities in saliva — for example, Foreo’s research suggested that folks who were stressed, anxious, or otherwise nervous, suffered from an abnormally dry mouth (known as Xerostomia). If your smart toothbrush finds that you are suffering from this condition, it will offer words of encouragement like, “Take it easy today. You work to live, not live to work.” Or better yet, “Remember to chill today. Life is what you make it.” Best of all, because you can personalize your Issalexa, your toothbrush will actually say your name when offering up words of advice.

The toothbrush also purports to detect emotional sensitivity based on imbalances of the stress hormone cortisol, and perhaps most compellingly, claims to be able to detect “rogue saliva” in your mouth. Be warned though — if this is the case, the toothbrush will flash red and provide commentary along the lines of, “Who’s been a naughty boy/girl?”

If you’re unimpressed by these capabilities, you’ve yet to see the real kicker. The Issalexa can tell if you’ve skipped your oral regime and forgot to brush your teeth after a night out on the town. Rather than letting you get away with it, the toothbrush shouts out, “Alcohol enhances bad breath so I’ve cancelled your drinks with friends tomorrow.”

“Always leading the way in the industry is what makes us tick,” said Paul Peros, CEO of FOREO International. “We were founded on innovation and it is at the very heart of everything we do from our R&D Institute in Sweden. All of our products combine technology and innovation and we are now taking that to the next level in the beauty landscape by adding artificial intelligence and speech technology to our newest products. This brings the very best of oral care devices as well as offering our customers the added extra of no hold barred emotional support when it is detected that they need a boost.”

In all seriousness, irrespective of the aforementioned features, the Issalexa, like the ISSA 2 toothbrush, can also serve as a handy toothbrush. The device features nonabrasive, soft silicone bristles for a gentler, more comfortable brushing experience. Plus, the silicone promises to break up and remove up to 35 percent of plaque buildup. The bristles are also quick-drying and easier to clean, and contain up to 10,000 less bacteria than your standard nylon bristles.

The 3D functionality of the ergonomic brush head can easily conform to various tooth surfaces and curves, helping reach crevices and crannies that other brushes may not be able to clean. Plus, the toothbrush is travel-friendly with no charging dock required — the battery lasts up to 365 uses.

Alright, fine. You’ve caught us. The Issalexa toothbrush doesn’t exist. But the ISSA 2 certainly does, and is not an April Fool’s Joke. If you’re interested in that toothbrush, it’ll set you back $169 and can be purchased now from the Foreo website.

For more April Fools fun, check out our favorite gags for 2018.

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