For a brief moment, simulators were the hottest thing in the gaming world. There have been long-running series like Farming Simulator and Train Simulator, but for whatever reason, the genre boomed with even more simulation titles that tried to capitalize on the satisfaction people had playing these games that allowed them to do different tasks and jobs as accurately as possible. However, as with anything successful, parodies came fast and strong. We got things like Surgeon Simulator, Granny Simulator, and even I Am Bread, where you play as bread trying to get toasted. The peak of this absurd, physics-based simulation sub-genre was the ridiculous Goat Simulator.
Originally just a joke, Goat Simulator was not only released as a full game but also got multiple expansions and DLC packs that took your titular goat through mockeries of other game tropes and genres. No one expected it to get as big as it did, and certainly no one saw it coming back for more, and yet Coffee Stain has returned, not with Goat Simulator 2, but jumping straight to Goat Simulator 3. If you’re ready for the most extensive, least realistic goat simulation game ever made, here’s everything we know about Goat Simulator 3.
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Goat Simulator 3 is scheduled to release on all platforms on November 17.
Goat Simulator 3 will nearly every major platform out there. You can get your goat action on the PlayStation 4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, and PC. That just leaves out Switch owners, making this goat one you can’t take with you on the go.
No, this isn’t that old Dead Island 2 trailer. Goat Simulator 3 pulls a fast one right off the jump by doing an almost shot-for-shot parody of the trailer for the Dead Island sequel that came out in 2014 with no release date in sight. This trailer was a highlight at the Xbox and Bethesda Showcase in 2022.
After watching a man lace-up, stretch, and set his tunes to go for a run, exactly like that old trailer, it isn’t a pack of zombies that wreak havoc behind him, but goats rampaging through the town. They ram, fly on jetpacks, shoot lasers, explode heads, and shoot rockets as people flee for their lives. The man only stops after stepping in a pile of goat droppings, turning around to see four goats about to pounce.
Just a few days later, Epic released their own trailer for Goat Simulator 3, this time giving us another purely cinematic look at the game.
It begins from the first-person perspective of a goat getting captured and transported to a farm. The farmer immediately starts harassing the goat, who doesn’t stand for that kind of treatment and strikes back. It runs away, avoiding people, until coming to a dock where it looks at its own reflection. Beside the goat is a giraffe and another yellow creature (a fish?) leaning over.
Goat Simulator 3 sounds like a simply bigger version of the first game, which itself was a big sandbox of physics interactions, quests, activities, and generally wacky and fun locations to explore and see what mischief you could create within. The official description backs this up, including the lighthearted tone, by stating, “Get ready for another round of udder mayhem. Lick, headbutt, and ruin your way through a brand new open world in the biggest waste of your time since Goat Simulator! We won’t tell you how to play (except in the tutorial), but merely provide the means to be the goats of your dreams.”
A list of key features was listed on the store page, which include being a goat, a goldfish, dressing up your goat, and a lot of mini-games, which may or may not actually just be seven. They also “hired ‘game designers’ and we’re told they’ve added ‘an OK amount of content.'” That includes more NPCs and physics interactions to play with.
Based on the trailer, expect the same level of absurd, bite-sized fun as the first. It wouldn’t be Goat Simulator 3 if the game played smoothly, didn’t glitch out, or felt like it was falling apart as you were playing.
Yes, for the first time, despite the Goat Simulator MMO expansion, Goat Simulator 3 will have co-op multiplayer for up to three friends. You can all play and explore the world together and compete in the previously mentioned mini-games, both locally and online. Coffee Stain hasn’t stated if the game will feature cross-play on any or all of the platforms Goat Simulator 3 will release on, but hopefully, we won’t be gated off from our goat friends on different consoles.
Pre-orders, or rather pre-udders, are up for Goat Simulator 3 in digital and retail stores. This farmyard frenzy of a game will come in three editions: Standard, the Digital Downgrade Edition, and the Goat in a Box Edition. If you’re confused, that’s kind of the point. Here’s how each one really works.
The Standard Edition is just your basic pre-order for $30, which gets you the “pre-udder” bonus item of a cosmetic udder you can proudly wear on your goat.
The Digital Downgrade Edition, obviously a parody of the common digital deluxe or digital upgrade editions other games have, will cost $40 and bundles in a few more goodies you may recognize from the first game’s DLC:
- The “pre-udder” bonus
- Ability to play as the original Pilgor from Goat Simulator
- Full tank armor
- Goat Zero skin
- Space suit and helmet
- Masks of Don Pastrami, Valentino Salami, Dolph Spaghetti, and Humphrey Ciabatta
- Digital soundtrack
- 3D printing files for Pilgor, Tony Shark, Goat tower, and a trinket
Last up, to really show your love for this barnyard bonanza, keep your eyes peeled for the Goat in a Box edition, which has been detailed but not yet put up for sale. It will have:
- All the previous-edition content
- Physical goat house
- Reversible poster
- A goat plush toy
- Steelbook case
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